Tag Archives: Happiness

LOVE on your FEARS

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Remember we all stumble,every one of us. That's why is a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

HELLO, some of my favorite people!

Let me start off with a TRUTH BOMB:

The more YOU question YOUR fears, the less they will scare YOU.

I was introduced to Byron Katie over a year ago, and her book and work changed my life.  Since then, whenever I have felt down in the dumps, I’ve used The Work to investigate my thinking.

Our suffering- our anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and utter confusion, is caused by what we are believing.

As Byron Katie says, A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Here are a few of my limiting beliefs:  “You’re not doing enough, you will never amount to anything, you need to be doing more to reach true success.” 

I want to share a story with you.

This morning as I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, I felt a limiting belief creep into my mind.  The sign that I am believing a limiting belief is when I begin to feel physical sensations in my body.  It shows up as resistance, which feels like two bulls fighting each other inside my chest. It’s intense and scary.

The thought that started to gain momentum this morning began as a small voice inside my head.  It told me that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do today (PRESSURE).  And then it went on to say: “You need to be MORE productive.  You need to get MORE shit done.  You better not waste this day.”

Two words: HOW RUDE!

I know you are just as familiar with these thoughts as I am, so let me ask you something:  If someone spoke to you that way, would you still be friends with them?

Probably not.

Let me also ask you this:  Would you ever speak to a friend and/or sister like that?  Would you call them up and demand that they DO MORE and be MORE PRODUCTIVE with their time!?

I have a hunch that you wouldn’t.  We would never treat our friends or sisters like that.

Okay (I am about to get in your face) so WHY on earth do we think it is okay to treat ourselves like that!? Why do we BELIEVE everything we think, especially the beliefs that are so nasty and mean!?

The first answer that comes to me is this:  We have NEVER been taught to question our beliefs. We didn’t receive that type of education growing up.  How are we to know that if a thought causes SUFFERING, IT ISN’T TRUE?

We don’t.

This is why I do what I do, to help YOU understand that YOU are not the voice inside of YOUR head and you don’t have to believe everything it has to say.  There is another way.  A way in which will free you from the misery of your anxiety, depression, confusion, overwhelm, etc.

This leads me back to this mornings story….

Usually, when my inner mean girl comes out to play (THE FEAR), I have a few techniques I use to defuse her power, and most of the time it works, lately however, she’s been kicking my ass a bit.
But something different happened this morning.  I felt a new energy emerge from my body.  It was open and loving.  It felt like two open and loving arms reaching out and welcoming the fear.  There was no fight and no fleeing.

“Wow.  That’s what that feels like,” I thought to myself.

And then this nugget of gold came to me: The more we question our beliefs, the less scared of them we become.

I have practiced many tools to help me DISBELIEVE the limiting beliefs that make me feel small, insecure, lost, depressed, confused, anxious, etc. It isn’t always easy, but it’s paying off, because there is a new energy emerging from within me.
To be able to see my fear and react to it with loving and open arms, is one of the best feelings and gifts in the world. Why? Because there is no fight. What a relief.

The more we fight or flee from our fears, the louder and more savage they become.

“What we resist, persists.”

It is my honor to share this experience with all of you.  The more willing we are to investigate our thinking, the thinking which causes us to feel so unhappy, the happier we become and the more connected and confident we feel.

As Martha Beck told me yesterday:  

Our fears block us from feeling the love and seeing the truth from the Universe, ourselves, and others.

There is nothing that isn’t happening for us.  We live in a loving and kind Universe.
The Universe is on our side- it has our backs.
Believe that to be true, and see how it carries you the rest of the day.

If you are interested in knowing more about The Work, you can visit http://www.thework.com and/or reach out to me.  Get the support you need to feel your best.

I wish you lots of love and joy for the rest of your day.  And remember, you matter.

Love,
Sarah

We are SURVIVORS!

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Get ready because I am about to throw some 90’s music at you!

Today, as I was driving- well let me back up.  This last month has been HARD.

Starting my own business has stretched me (at times) more than I would like to feel.

And last night, I hit a breaking point.  The thought came into my mind:  “Maybe I should just give up.  This is too fucking hard.” 

And then I got pissed.  I don’t get mad a lot, but last night I got mad.

Why the hell aren’t things going the way I want them to?

How come I feel like my wheels are spinning?

How come everyone else is making money and getting clients, and I’m not!?

How am I going to be able to afford my new house?

HELPPPPPPP!

At this point, it was past 10:00pm and my bedtime and I was tired. 

I went to bed.

This morning before I meditated, I set the intention to receive guidance from the Universe.

It went like this: 

Me:  How in the world do I reach my money and business goals, this month?  I feel so lost and confused.

Universe/Inner Wisdom: How would you feel if someone gave you $1,000 – $5,000 dollars?

Me:  I would feel relaxed and calm.  I wouldn’t worry so much and I imagine life would feel easier and happier.

Universe/Inner Wisdom:  Live like that NOW!  Begin to feel CALM and RELAXED, RIGHT now, not when you reach your money or your business goals, but NOW. 
The whole point in life is to feel good.  Start by FEELING what you want to FEEL, right now, and see what happens.

At this point, I was SO exhausted, mentally and emotionally, that I accepted this advice and began to introduce feelings of relaxation and calmness into my body.  

I finished my meditation, and realized that it was 9:45am.  

“SHIT.”  I thought to myself,  “I had to be at the bank (for my Dad), at9:00am.”

I quickly gave thanks to the Universe, and headed out the door.

I got in my car, started backing up, became distracted by my phone (UGH), and all of a sudden I was in the DITCH, in my own driveway.

(For REALS. right now!?)

Side note:  I live in Montana, in the country, and there is A LOT of snow.

So there I was, stuck in the ditch (of my own driveway), and wondering what the hell had just happened.

I left my car (it was not budging), got into my Mom’s car, and was on my way.

As I was driving, I changed the radio station, and I heard:

I’m a survivor 
I’m not gon give up 
I’m not gon stop
I’m gon work harder
I’m a survivor 
I’m gonna make it 
I will survive
Keep on survivin’

I’m a survivor 
I’m not gon give up 
I’m not gon stop
I’m gon work harder
I’m a survivor
I’m gonna make it
I will survive
Keep on survivin’
 

THANK GOD.  

This was exactly what I needed to hear.  

THANK YOU, UNIVERSE! 

As I listened and sang my heart out to the song, I imagined that I was singing to the fear; the voice inside my head who beats me up and reminds me of how I won’t make it and WHY.

(Listen to the song here, and see what I mean!)

Throughout the rest of the day, I began treating those voices in my head, like little children in a classroom.  

Like this:

Voice in my head (inner mean girl):  How are you going to make it happen? You NEED to know NOW!

Me: Is that helpful?

Voice in my head (inner mean girl): No

Me: Then please keep your mouth shut unless you have something nice to say.  And while you’re at it, go sit at the back of the room, and don’t come back up to the front until you’re behaving better.

I have been doing this all day!  And guess what?  IT WORKS!

WE ARE SURVIVORS, and we are NOT meant to give up.  WE are going to keep trying and will never STOP.

Do not let that voice take over the teacher’s roll, THAT IS YOUR ROLL.  You are the teacher, and your inner mean girl is the student.  Start treating your inner mean girl like the child who isn’t behaving.  

Think about it:  If a child acts out: makes fun of others, throws pencils and markers, and/or hurts peoples feelings, YOU as the TEACHER, would well him or her NO, and make him/her act accordingly.

That is exactly how you treat the voice in your head.  Until he/she can behave nicely and give you positive and encouraging advice, he/she is not allowed to be listened to.  EVER.

Be strong.

I believe in you.

YOU ARE A:

survivor

Be a Better Friend to Yourself

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GOT IT!?

How do you treat yourself? Mentally?

Are you aware of the mental chatter going on inside of your head? Do you notice how often the voice inside of your head makes you feel crappy about yourself and your life? Well let me SHOOT some TRUTH YOUR WAY: That voice, who makes you feel less than you really are, is NOT who you are, nor do you have to listen to or BELIEVE what is has to say.

Sure, it may feel true. And you could argue with me that those thoughts (which cause you to feel anxious or depressed) may in fact be true. But let me ask you something?
When you BELIEVE thoughts that make you feel crummy, what is the indicator that they are true? How can you REALLY know, 100%, that they’re TRUE?

Think about it…

Go inside and see what comes up for you.

I have a friend who believes that before she starts her business, she needs to have ALL her I’s dotted and T’s crossed. She had this story when I met her (8 months ago) and still lives by it today. And what has this belief given to her? A lot of UNNECESSARY stress and a lack of self-confidence and courage to get her BUSINESS out into the world.

Does she have her T’s crossed and I’s dotted?

YOU BET SHE DOES

And is she a wonderful and smart women who has a special gift to share with the world?  YOU BET SHE IS! Yet, she is still believing that she needs to DO MORE, in order for her to begin, and that my friends, is what’s HOLDING HER BACK.

I want you to hold a thought in your mind that makes you feel crappy. Such as: (I will use my own personal playlist, that my inner mean girl uses, when she likes to come out to play) you’re not doing enough, you will never be successful, you should watch what you eat (you don’t want to get fat!), you need to be doing more to be better, etc. Now find a thought that your inner mean girl uses when she comes out to play.

Got it? (DO THIS PEOPLE)

Now hold that belief in your mind FOR 30 seconds.

How do you feel?

Write down ALL of the feelings and PHYSICAL sensations in your BODY, that came up while believing this thought. Such as: tight, suffocating, clogged, heavy, etc.

(WRITE THEM DOWN, for reals!)

Okay, shake that shit off. Really, shake it off and get back to YOUR happy place.

NOW, hold a belief that you KNOW to be TRUE. For example (my truth): I love horses, I want to be happy, I love my partner, the sky is blue, etc.

NOW, hold that belief in your mind for 30 seconds.

How do you feel after believing that thought?

Better right?

Let me let you in on a TOP SECRET: IF A THOUGHT CAUSES YOU TO SUFFER (anxious, depressed, worried, unhappy) IT IS NOT TRUE.

Notice how you FELT when you held the absolute truth in your mind. Good right? A lot better then when you held the belief that your inner mean girl throws at you, huh?

When you BELIEVE the TRUTH it feels like freedom and when you believe a LIE, it feels like SHIT.

I know this may be a lot for your mind to comprehend, but it doesn’t need to comprehend it right now. Just notice how you feel when you believe the truth, the god to honest truth, like the sky is blue, and when you believe something that causes you to feel crappy about yourself.

It’s like hot and cold, right?

Wouldn’t you want to believe the TRUTH and FEEL FREE, then believe and LIE and feel like crap???

Easier said then done, I know. However, I am LIVING PROOF, that it is POSSIBLE. I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and ALL of it stemmed from the inner dialogue that was going on upstairs.

With a few coaching sessions under your belt, you will understand how you inner mean girl operates, how you can break free from the LIMITING beliefs that hold you back (like my friend), and create a happier life for yourself.

It all starts with you my dear.

And let me REMIND you of something: You are EFFING amazing and you have an incredible gift to share with the world. If I believe that, you can believe it. Don’t you EVER give up on yourself and when you’re in the DUMPS, reach out to a loved one and treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. NO exceptions.

“Be a better friend to yourself.” – ME

Want more? SUBSCRIBE to receive my weekly and monthly SOUL-EMPOWERING updates; Be the Best Version of Yourself.

Want even more? Get coached. It’s the best investment I ever gave to myself. And that is a promise.

Will this help a friend in need? Share it with them, using the links below!

Questions/Comments? EMAIL ME @ hello@sarahcaracciolo.com

I would LOVE to hear from you.

 

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Looking FEAR into the EYES

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“Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done.”  – Byron Katie

I had an epiphany the other day after reading this quote.  It slowly started to dawn on me that I had the willingness (in one area of my life) to look fear in the eye and choose not to be scared. The fear that used to TERRIFY me, no longer held its power over me and scared me the way it used to.

 

HOLY COW!  WHAT a realization!

 

And the fear I am talking about?  It is the FEAR of being FAT.  You know it right?  

I have been scared of being fat since the seventh grade.  I had beliefs like: only skinny girls are pretty and only pretty girls are skinny.  AND:  I HAVE to be skinny in order for people to like me.  AND: I am not likable if I am not skinny.  You see where I am going with this…

The behaviors that came from believing such thoughts were detrimental to my health, mind, soul, and body.  Behaviors such as: controlling my eating habits, eating when I wasn’t hungry, emotional binge-eating, harsh self-criticism, judging myself and others, and wearing baggy clothes because I was too scared to wear my tight clothes, for fear they wouldn’t fit.

 

And what did this all stem from?  Believing thoughts that simply were NOT TRUE.  Who said that only pretty people are skinny and visa versa?  Or that one is only likable if they are skinny!?  Because I have two words for them: what BULLSHIT!!!!  100% BullSHIT.

 

The fact that I can hear the voice in my head (you should watch what you eat, you don’t want to get FAT), feel it’s impact on my body, as uncomfortable body sensations (tightness, tenseness, and heaviness-usually in my heart center), and choose to face the fear, rather then fight it or ignore it, changes its effect on me.  I used to be SO scared to face the fear, for fear that I would become FAT, that I would bow down to it (unknowingly), BELIEVE IT, and then end up feeling like the victim of my own life.  This created a hellish life for me for quite some time.

 

BUT NOW?!  I see it for was it is:  a made up FEAR that doesn’t hold any truth whatsoever.  May I repeat:  A MADE OF UP FEAR THAT DOESN’T HOLD ANY TRUTH WHATSOEVER.  Through life coach training and many of my own personal experiences, I have come to realize the insanity of the fear and have begun to trust myself and my body, more than a belief inside of my head.

 

And now that I have come to realize this, I can apply it to other fear based areas in my life, and not become paralyzed by limiting (fear based) beliefs for days, weeks, or months on end.

 

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!!!

 

You are NOT the voice inside your head who makes you feel crappy about your life, body, work, relationships, etc.  You are the one who is silenced by the fear, the one who stands back and watches the chaos unfold.  

 

“If you truly knew how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” – Byron Katie

CURIOUS about learning how to move past your fears and face them in the eye, so you can live a more happy and peaceful life?  Subscribe to my email updates so you can get all the INSPIRING, SOUL-EMPOWERING, and MOTIVATING goodies to your INBOX!

 

And if you want more… sign up for the Relationship Repair Kit, where I will help you become your OWN BEST FRIEND and FACE your own fears in the EYE!

 

LOTS OF LOVE!!!!!

Sarah

Feeling Pressured by YOURSELF? Sit and #BREATHE

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Fo reaaaallllll! Goodness #gracious! This is exactly how I #FEEL right now!

As I try to sit and #write from an authentic place within myself, my mind keeps interrupting and steering me off into weird territories! I feel pressured to write, which feels very uncomfortable in my #body. I began to journal about this weird feeling, just to clear the air a bit, but I only became more confused as to why I felt this way. And then I saw this quote, and suddenly, I felt much better.

Sometimes, there are no words to explain the #craziness that goes on in our heads! I think I will sit still, take a couple of deep #breathes, and when I feel ready, begin again. #nopressure

They say, Things Happen in #3’s …

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I love the #UNIVERSE!!!!

I had another great “The Universe at Hand“ as I like to call them, experience. It began last week (April 23rd – MY BDAY) when a friend pulled a #tarotcard for me. It was the King of Wands.  She summed it up for me as this:KINF-OF-WANDSI highlighted the #KEY words that really resonated with me.

After I read this, I kept it in the back of my mind.  I knew that taking on more confidence in myself and in my personal work and growth, was something that had recently been showing up in my life.  But I let it #CHILL for a sec.

I then went to visit friend a couple of days later.  She began talking about totem animals.  To me, totem animals are animals that unexpectedly pop up into your life and add meaning to you just when you need it.  An example of this, was last year, when I was having a difficult time understanding a certain situation in my life.  Out of nowhere, I saw a dragonfly swoop down before me. I immediately googled it and what I read about dragonflies gave me the courage and confidence I needed right in that moment.

So as we were talking about animal totems, I became curious, yet not attaching myself to a particular outcome.  I also, set this #ASIDE.

The next morning I went to a coffee shop and ordered a lavender honey latte– #YES, it was amazing!  After the gentlemen finished making my latte, he handed it to me, showing me that he had tried to make a #PEACOCK out of the foam.  “Hmm, I pondered. A peacock huh?“.  Here is the lovely art work of the peacock:

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I thanked the barista and headed on my way.  Of course, once I got to my car, I googled ‘peacock’.  This is what I found: (I also highlighted what resonated with me)

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So there I was, now with two signs pointing me to the same direction.  I kind of let it ponder in the back of my head, not sure what to do with it.

Then two days ago, I saw a freaking #PEACOCK walking across the side of the street.  I mean who sees a peacock just roaming the #STREETS!?

At this point, I was like okay, what is going on here??  I understood the message, but what was I supposed to do with it?

It is very ironic, because as all of this was happening, I could feel myself, and have continued to feel myself, grow more confident on a personal and also on a professional level.  It felt as if I was shedding an old layer and re-discovering a new sense of confidence beneath it all.  I felt more #FREE to be me.

After seeing this #peacock walking across the street, although in a state of #AWE, I was still unsure as what to make of it all.

I attended yoga later that evening, and before the class began, the instructor, whom was so awesome by the way, asked us if we wanted to set an intention for the practice, and if so, to do it now.  I thought about it, wondering if I had an intention to set.

A question came to mind.  I asked the universe what was I supposed to do with all of this new and juicy information!?  I asked this question, and then let it go.

Throughout my practice, I had completely forgotten that I had asked the question.  Until, an answer came to me.

It was more of a feeling, so it is hard for me to put into words, but it went something like this: Be patient Sarah.  Let it be.  When the time comes you will know what to do.  TRUST the process.

I felt completely at peace with this feeling that had just passed through me. And that is what I decided to do: #LetItBe.

I just think it is ABSOLUTELY amazing when things like this happen.  It reminds me that we are not alone on this path.  That there is something guiding us and showing us the way.  We must trust in that; trust that we will always be taken care of, no matter how brutally confused we may be.

Life is breathing for us right now.  It is here to show us our truest colors.  It is only when we quiet our minds, can we hear the rhythm of  life.  It is always there, waiting for us to slow down and #SHOWUP. I hope this #INSPIRES you to listen to your own wisdom and watch for signs that the #UNIVERSE may be trying to show you.

I urge you to take the time to become one with life itself.  It is there where we feel most at #HOME.

Questions/Comments?  EMAIL ME @ thelove4happiness@gmail.com!  We are on this journey together.

Be well and stay #curious.

Sarah🙂

Release that #SHiiiitttttttttt

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This morning was, well a little rough. It started with me in my bed, replaying different scenarios, that had happened WAY in the past. 


I began to get #SEVERE anxiety. As I have noticed, once I cling to a certain thought, which causes me to #freakout (mentally), it is a downward hill from there.

So as I was beginning to take this ride, this steep ride, down the hill of #ANXIETY, I got up, went downstairs, sat my #BUTT down on my meditation cushion, and began meditating.


It took a few minutes, well let’s just say ten minutes, to get myself back to the present moment.

Awe… it feels so good to be #HERE.

As I was meditating, something dawned on me: Do only what makes you feel #GOOD, and #OUT with the rest.

It seems pretty simple right?

That’s because it is! It only becomes complicated once our minds enter the equation and we decide that looking at our ex–boyfriends Facebook page, over and over again, is in fact a good idea. 

#NO it is not. Don’t do it. 

It doesn’t #FEEL good. That is the point. We must stick to what #FEELS good.

Let us practice that today. 

I definitely am!

Sticking to what makes me feel good, and not even allowing myself to go to those places within my mind that cause me #anxiety. If anxiety shows up, I know I am focusing my attention on something that does not serve me.

#RELEASE that shitttttttttt!

Happy #DAY!

-Sarah @ THELOVE4HAPPINESS

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