Be a Better Friend to Yourself

IMG_3658

GOT IT!?

How do you treat yourself? Mentally?

Are you aware of the mental chatter going on inside of your head? Do you notice how often the voice inside of your head makes you feel crappy about yourself and your life? Well let me SHOOT some TRUTH YOUR WAY: That voice, who makes you feel less than you really are, is NOT who you are, nor do you have to listen to or BELIEVE what is has to say.

Sure, it may feel true. And you could argue with me that those thoughts (which cause you to feel anxious or depressed) may in fact be true. But let me ask you something?
When you BELIEVE thoughts that make you feel crummy, what is the indicator that they are true? How can you REALLY know, 100%, that they’re TRUE?

Think about it…

Go inside and see what comes up for you.

I have a friend who believes that before she starts her business, she needs to have ALL her I’s dotted and T’s crossed. She had this story when I met her (8 months ago) and still lives by it today. And what has this belief given to her? A lot of UNNECESSARY stress and a lack of self-confidence and courage to get her BUSINESS out into the world.

Does she have her T’s crossed and I’s dotted?

YOU BET SHE DOES

And is she a wonderful and smart women who has a special gift to share with the world?  YOU BET SHE IS! Yet, she is still believing that she needs to DO MORE, in order for her to begin, and that my friends, is what’s HOLDING HER BACK.

I want you to hold a thought in your mind that makes you feel crappy. Such as: (I will use my own personal playlist, that my inner mean girl uses, when she likes to come out to play) you’re not doing enough, you will never be successful, you should watch what you eat (you don’t want to get fat!), you need to be doing more to be better, etc. Now find a thought that your inner mean girl uses when she comes out to play.

Got it? (DO THIS PEOPLE)

Now hold that belief in your mind FOR 30 seconds.

How do you feel?

Write down ALL of the feelings and PHYSICAL sensations in your BODY, that came up while believing this thought. Such as: tight, suffocating, clogged, heavy, etc.

(WRITE THEM DOWN, for reals!)

Okay, shake that shit off. Really, shake it off and get back to YOUR happy place.

NOW, hold a belief that you KNOW to be TRUE. For example (my truth): I love horses, I want to be happy, I love my partner, the sky is blue, etc.

NOW, hold that belief in your mind for 30 seconds.

How do you feel after believing that thought?

Better right?

Let me let you in on a TOP SECRET: IF A THOUGHT CAUSES YOU TO SUFFER (anxious, depressed, worried, unhappy) IT IS NOT TRUE.

Notice how you FELT when you held the absolute truth in your mind. Good right? A lot better then when you held the belief that your inner mean girl throws at you, huh?

When you BELIEVE the TRUTH it feels like freedom and when you believe a LIE, it feels like SHIT.

I know this may be a lot for your mind to comprehend, but it doesn’t need to comprehend it right now. Just notice how you feel when you believe the truth, the god to honest truth, like the sky is blue, and when you believe something that causes you to feel crappy about yourself.

It’s like hot and cold, right?

Wouldn’t you want to believe the TRUTH and FEEL FREE, then believe and LIE and feel like crap???

Easier said then done, I know. However, I am LIVING PROOF, that it is POSSIBLE. I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and ALL of it stemmed from the inner dialogue that was going on upstairs.

With a few coaching sessions under your belt, you will understand how you inner mean girl operates, how you can break free from the LIMITING beliefs that hold you back (like my friend), and create a happier life for yourself.

It all starts with you my dear.

And let me REMIND you of something: You are EFFING amazing and you have an incredible gift to share with the world. If I believe that, you can believe it. Don’t you EVER give up on yourself and when you’re in the DUMPS, reach out to a loved one and treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. NO exceptions.

“Be a better friend to yourself.” – ME

Want more? SUBSCRIBE to receive my weekly and monthly SOUL-EMPOWERING updates; Be the Best Version of Yourself.

Want even more? Get coached. It’s the best investment I ever gave to myself. And that is a promise.

Will this help a friend in need? Share it with them, using the links below!

Questions/Comments? EMAIL ME @ hello@sarahcaracciolo.com

I would LOVE to hear from you.

 

cover-photo-website

 

MY PROGRAMS

IMG_3699

 

1-ON-1-google-docs

Advertisements

What Would PEACE Do?

What would PEACE do?

I have been asking myself this question for the past week. I ask it when I feel my ego trying to push me out of the way and take over the spotlight.

A few days ago, while on the phone with my sister, a certain topic came up, which my ego assumes it knows EVERYTHING about. I felt my ego (the control freak in me), craving so desperately to interrupt her and hand out my two sense, only to be “RIGHT”. When I felt this urge, I took a few deep breathes, brought myself back to the present moment, and asked myself, “What would PEACE do?” I found that when I anchored myself back to the present moment, by taking a few deep breathes and then asking myself this question, my ego disappeared. And the answer which came to me was this: LISTEN. Be PRESENT.

e29be8de886aa1cd737e94afa7733527

By fully listening to my sister, without allowing my ego to judge every word coming from her mouth, I was able to connect with her in a much more fulfilling and peaceful manner. Once we realize that we DO NOT have to participate in our ego’s self-destructive games, we no longer feel inhibited by our ego. We stop taking ourselves and our lives so seriously. It doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it out to be. By asking ourselves this question before our ego takes flight, we enable our true-selves to shine through. In the end we create more meaningful and heart-felt relationships, with ourselves and with others. The first step, is noticing when it is our egos in play or our authentic selves. Simply, be aware.

Note: This takes continuous practice. There are many times when my ego moves in ever so subtly and takes control. However, by practicing over and over again, the ego slowly loses its grip. If we want to create happier and healthier relationships with others and with ourselves, we must be willing to change.

With Love,
Sarah (TheLove4Happiness)

Healing through Mindfulness: Sister Dang Nghiem

Zen Lessons On Healing After Loss

This is such a great post!  For anyone who is dealing with a loss or any type of on going suffering, please read this.  Not only read it, but begin to practice mindfulness.  It is only when we live here, in this moment, that we free ourselves from our OWN suffering.  The only way to live is day by day, hour by hour, and minute by minute.  Be here, be free. – TheLove4Happiness

When she left her career as a medical doctor, Sister Dang Nghiem, MD, a Zen Buddhist nun and disciple of Thich Nhat Hanh, learned the true meaning of healing.

For Sister Dang Nghiem story, click here.By Siobhan O’Connor

Breathing heals; time doesn’t.
It’s a myth to say that time can heal. Time cannot heal. Breathing and mindfulness can. [Long after a traumatic event happens to you,] a sight, a sound, a smell, a taste, a touch can trigger the complete stress response as though it’s happening all over again. What saved me was the mindfulness of breathing. Sometimes I would lie down to breathe and put my hands on my belly to slow it down and anchor my body. Through breathing, you learn to slow the stress response, the fight-flight-or-freeze response. If you can do that when going through a very intense experience, the next time you recall that trauma, you will do so with more peace, mindfulness, and clarity.

You can cultivate joy even when you’re hurting.
It’s been 14 years since John died. I still miss him every day, but I have learned to cultivate joy and peace in each breath, even though I feel that pain. You have to do them both at the same time. It’s like a garden: You have to take care of the weeds, but you also have to plant flowers. If you only weed, you’ll be exhausted and lose hope. And if you plant enough flowers, eventually there will be less room for all the weeds. (Get more ideas on how to find joy everyday.)

“Applied Buddhism” means mindfulness happens all day.
We’re not saying you have to set out 1 hour a day to sit on a cushion. We’re not saying quit your job and go live in the mountains. We’re just saying if you eat, don’t eat your projects. Don’t eat your sadness. Don’t eat the argument you just had. Just eat. If you walk, just walk. If you drive, drive. We have to choose again and again to be in the present moment. The moment you realize you are not being mindful, that’s the moment you are mindful. And you come back to it again and again. It’s a mental training.

You can keep the dead alive.
When a person dies and you lose all your joy, then it is like you are making sure that person is as dead as possible. But you can learn to call on the spirit of that person for help and learn to see him or her around you. When I see a purple flower, I remember that John loved purple flowers, and I smile. That flower, in that moment, becomes him.

Mindfulness is powerful medicine.
Mindfulness is the most effective preventive medicine there is, because it teaches you to care for yourself. Because you learn not to cause harm to yourself or others, physically, mentally, psychologically. I learned in medicine that so many of our illnesses are from lifestyle, and the biggest factor of our lifestyle is stress. Stress will bring on any illness. Diabetes runs in my family. My mother had it; my uncle had it. My brother, who is 4 years younger than I am, developed it in his mid-30s. I’m in my mid-40s now and I still don’t have it. We can have a genetic predisposition, but our lifestyle can determine when an illness will manifest, if it will ever manifest.

Kind actions matter.
In the Buddhist teaching, we talk about karma. Karma means actions, thoughts, speech. So really everything we do in life matters. You think, Oh, it doesn’t mean anything to bend down and pick up a nickel and give it to the person who dropped it. You think, Oh, it doesn’t mean anything to open the door for somebody. But you know what? Everything you do means everything. Every word you say to somebody or to yourself accumulates. Mindfulness allows us to make [more thoughtful choices in the moment]. And so we are more likely to have more positive and wholesome seeds in us to save us in daily life and very difficult moments.

Real medicine means being present.
If a doctor learns to practice mindfulness, if she learns to do a walking meditation as she’s going to the patient’s room—gathering herself, truly present—and she walks in quietly, peacefully, that’s already medicine. She’s calm. She’s not outside of her own body. The patient feels that attention, that tenderness, that care, that true presence. The patient is already soothed.