LOVE on your FEARS

Remember we all stumble,every one of us. That's why is a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

HELLO, some of my favorite people!

Let me start off with a TRUTH BOMB:

The more YOU question YOUR fears, the less they will scare YOU.

I was introduced to Byron Katie over a year ago, and her book and work changed my life.  Since then, whenever I have felt down in the dumps, I’ve used The Work to investigate my thinking.

Our suffering- our anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and utter confusion, is caused by what we are believing.

As Byron Katie says, A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Here are a few of my limiting beliefs:  “You’re not doing enough, you will never amount to anything, you need to be doing more to reach true success.” 

I want to share a story with you.

This morning as I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, I felt a limiting belief creep into my mind.  The sign that I am believing a limiting belief is when I begin to feel physical sensations in my body.  It shows up as resistance, which feels like two bulls fighting each other inside my chest. It’s intense and scary.

The thought that started to gain momentum this morning began as a small voice inside my head.  It told me that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do today (PRESSURE).  And then it went on to say: “You need to be MORE productive.  You need to get MORE shit done.  You better not waste this day.”

Two words: HOW RUDE!

I know you are just as familiar with these thoughts as I am, so let me ask you something:  If someone spoke to you that way, would you still be friends with them?

Probably not.

Let me also ask you this:  Would you ever speak to a friend and/or sister like that?  Would you call them up and demand that they DO MORE and be MORE PRODUCTIVE with their time!?

I have a hunch that you wouldn’t.  We would never treat our friends or sisters like that.

Okay (I am about to get in your face) so WHY on earth do we think it is okay to treat ourselves like that!? Why do we BELIEVE everything we think, especially the beliefs that are so nasty and mean!?

The first answer that comes to me is this:  We have NEVER been taught to question our beliefs. We didn’t receive that type of education growing up.  How are we to know that if a thought causes SUFFERING, IT ISN’T TRUE?

We don’t.

This is why I do what I do, to help YOU understand that YOU are not the voice inside of YOUR head and you don’t have to believe everything it has to say.  There is another way.  A way in which will free you from the misery of your anxiety, depression, confusion, overwhelm, etc.

This leads me back to this mornings story….

Usually, when my inner mean girl comes out to play (THE FEAR), I have a few techniques I use to defuse her power, and most of the time it works, lately however, she’s been kicking my ass a bit.
But something different happened this morning.  I felt a new energy emerge from my body.  It was open and loving.  It felt like two open and loving arms reaching out and welcoming the fear.  There was no fight and no fleeing.

“Wow.  That’s what that feels like,” I thought to myself.

And then this nugget of gold came to me: The more we question our beliefs, the less scared of them we become.

I have practiced many tools to help me DISBELIEVE the limiting beliefs that make me feel small, insecure, lost, depressed, confused, anxious, etc. It isn’t always easy, but it’s paying off, because there is a new energy emerging from within me.
To be able to see my fear and react to it with loving and open arms, is one of the best feelings and gifts in the world. Why? Because there is no fight. What a relief.

The more we fight or flee from our fears, the louder and more savage they become.

“What we resist, persists.”

It is my honor to share this experience with all of you.  The more willing we are to investigate our thinking, the thinking which causes us to feel so unhappy, the happier we become and the more connected and confident we feel.

As Martha Beck told me yesterday:  

Our fears block us from feeling the love and seeing the truth from the Universe, ourselves, and others.

There is nothing that isn’t happening for us.  We live in a loving and kind Universe.
The Universe is on our side- it has our backs.
Believe that to be true, and see how it carries you the rest of the day.

If you are interested in knowing more about The Work, you can visit http://www.thework.com and/or reach out to me.  Get the support you need to feel your best.

I wish you lots of love and joy for the rest of your day.  And remember, you matter.

Love,
Sarah

Love Circle

love-circle

I want this blog post to be short and sweet.
I think it is very important for everyone to create a love circle for themselves.  There are many things that we can over analyze, fixate, or dwell on that do not serve us well.  Just this morning I had an argument or should I say, an intense conversation with someone who I had argued with earlier in the week.  After the first argument, I was a bit flustered and spending far too much of my energy over analyzing it.  I soon noticed this and recognized how thinking about it (a lot more than I should have) was bringing me nothing but frustration and anger.  I decided right then and there that I was going to let it go.  I cut the string that was binding me with this negative energy together and BOOM, it was gone.  And I hadn’t really thought about that conversation/argument until this morning, when I unexpectedly ran into this person again.
Now, between the time that the first argument had occurred and this morning’s conversation, I had had a discussion with a friend about how he could create a love circle for himself.  It seemed he had a tendency to surround himself with bogus energy and it continually brought him unnecessary drama that caused him to suffer.  I told him to imagine a love circle surrounding his body that only allowed positive, warm, loving, and compassionate energy into this circle.  Then I advised him to imagine a little door attached to this love circle that allowed him to release any negative energy that he may be holding onto.  I asked him to slowly open the door and cut the string that tied him to the negative energy.  “Now watch, I said, as the energy rapidly disappears out of the door, into the unknown, where it can no longer hurt you.”  Then, gracefully shut the door.   As I was explaining this to him, I realized that this was a good practice for me, and for everyone.
 
And so this morning, after I had succumbed to a second argument with this person and after I called a friend to bitch about how annoying I thought this person was and blah, blah, blah, I realized that I was doing it again.  I was giving this  situation too much of my energy, when it didn’t benefit me whatsoever.  It made me angry and frustrated and that really wasn’t what I wanted to focus on!  I wanted to have a good day, just as it had started earlier that morning. So I closed my eyes and imagined my love circle surrounding me.  I took all of the frustration and annoyance, bundled it up, and opened my door, allowing it all to be sucked out.  I then shut the door and felt a sense of relief throughout my entire body.  I was free to be me without any bad energy bringing me down or distracting me from the beauty that surrounded me.
TA-DAH!
It is that simple.  Don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be.  Is something or someone bothering you?  Open the door to your love circle and let it GO.  You may need to re-visit  some of your situations or dilemmas at another time, but for now, if it isn’t serving you any purpose let it go until you can see the truth in the matter.
Be calm, be gentle, BE YOU!

What if Your Problem isn’t Actually a Problem?

Peace-Comes-PS

Have you ever listened to a friend or family member’s story of their frustration, anger, or sadness and think to yourself,

” You are making this so much harder on yourself then actually needs to be”.

Well I think we can all admit to this, in one way, shape, or form.  However, in the midst of a challenging situation, it’s hard to see how much energy and time we are actually devoting to the problem.  We become so attached to the problem, it’s as if the problem becomes who we are.  Often times, we don’t realize that our reaction to the problem causes us more suffering then the actual ‘problem’ itself.

Now, it is easier to look at another person’s situation from an outsiders perspective, and give our two cents, than to listen to our own advice, when we are amid a frustrating situation.

From my experience, I have realized that there are two avenues to choose from when experiencing a challenging situation, the negative path or the positive path.  It seems much easier to take a victim’s stance.  Asking questions like, “Why is this happening to me?” “What did I do to deserve this?”, or making statements such as, “I am angry at the world”, “life sucks”, etc, when in fact, taking that route makes you feel WAY worse than you initially did before you reacted to the situation.

Rather then looking at a crummy situation in a negative light, why not look at it in a positive light?  What if the frustrating situation is actually happening for a reason beyond your knowledge, and in the end, leads you to a better life and/or situation?

I find that when I focus solely on the positive aspects of a challenging situation, rather than the negative ones (I know it seems easier to bitch about your life, than not to, but it hurts you more in the end), I am happier and I don’t feel so depressed about my life.  I am not saying that it is easy to attempt this and succeed at your first, second, or even 100th try, but COMMITTING to this life-style change will help you become happier and life will surprisingly become easier and more meaningful.

Now the amount of effort is exactly the same, whether you choose to focus your attention positively or negatively.  However, your reaction to the situation is not the same.  And is it worth it to make a challenging situation even more challenging?  I know it is easier said then done, but there is no harm in trying to make small shifts in your attitude, thoughts, etc. to help you see that your ‘problem’ isn’t as bad as your mind makes it out to be.

I believe, that if we can find something negative in every situation, then we can also find something positive.  It is what we choose to focus our attention on that will decipher the amount of peace we feel in our hearts.

And when you need a little more encouragement, remember this:  PROBLEMS ARE MESSAGES.  Here is a passage from one of my favorite books, Living in the Light by Shakti Gawain.

When there are problems in your life, the universe may be trying to get your attention.  Its saying, “Hey, there’s something you need to be aware of, something that needs to be changed over here!”  If you pay attention to the small signals, you will learn from them.  However, if you don’t, the problems will intensify until you get the message and start to pay attention.  If you accept that every time a problem occurs the universe is showing you something, you will make rapid progress on your journey of self-discovery.

Good luck and don’t be so hard on yourself!  Life is happening for you, not to you.

A WINNER is a DREAMER Who Never Gives Up.

dreamer-blue-nelson

I absolutely adore this quote and the man himself who once said it.  Quite remarkable, that Nelson Mandela, a man who suffered a great deal was able to remain true to himself throughout times of hardship and then persevere with great wisdom and courage.  To this day he continues to inspire people all over the world.

He is a man who we can all learn from.

Everyone in this entire world has experienced suffering.  However, that doesn’t mean we should give-up on ourselves.  We possess the courage, will-power, and strength to overcome any obstacle.

The magic lies within you.  If you can change your attitude and beliefs in midst of suffering, you will have an entire new outlook and inner peace than you ever had before.  It is all about the perspective you choose to view your life through.  For example, Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”   He also had several more of his businesses fail until he premiered Snow White and it became a famous child hood movie.

The point is to NEVER GIVE UP on yourself.  Sure life will throw you some curve balls, some fast ones too, but it is all FOR you.  Everything that happens to you, whether it appears to be good or bad, is all for your higher purpose.  Embrace failed endeavors, look at them as old paths coming to a dead end and a new one reappearing, taking you to places you never dreamt of going.

It is time that we shut out our old beliefs that make us feel depressed and sad whenever a obstacle gets in our way, and replace them with an open mind and positive attitude.  Everything will work out and ultimately everything happens for a reason, you just have to believe in yourself and trust that everything will fall into place exactly how it should.  Scary?  I know. I have been there many times.  However, the courage, wisdom, and self-confidence I have gained throughout the course of it all is irreplacable.

So if you are experiencing a rough ‘growth spurt’,  please do not become discouraged by it.  Focus on whatever it is that you are working towards and keep moving forward.  We may not understand why life throws us curves balls, but we MUST trust that it is what we need in order to reach our full potential in life.

And remember…

 Never, EVER, give up on yourself!  You are far more capable then you realize. 

Mulan *Quote* Rainy & Sunny Days.

This quote is true for all of us. We all witness and experience days of sunshine and days of rain, literally and figuratively. The rainy days pass and we welcome the sunshine with open arms. When we open our arms for the sun, we hold the knowledge from the previous rainy days, which helps guide us on the path we are currently traveling on.

Rainy days build character, challenge us to become better individuals, and awaken us to our true potential. And although our vision becomes blurry during those moments of down pour, it is our responsibility to remember that the rain is guiding and helping us, rather than making our lives miserable. We must take on a new meaning for these rainy days, as to not allow them to effect us so negatively. Is is not an easy task, but when practiced, the most rewarding feeling! 🙂

As Paulo Coelho once said, If you only walk on Sunny Days you will never reach your destination.

We must live for both sunny and rainy days for us to reach our true potential. Be grateful for the rainy days, as they will lead you to greater days!

An Old Cherokee Teaches his Grandson about Life…

When I first laid eyes on this powerful saying I knew that it was a special message which should be shared! 🙂

Life is only ‘how good’ or ‘how bad’ you perceive it to be. You have the power to decide which “wolf” plays the larger roll in your life. Carefully choose your thoughts and direct your energy to the positive light within you.

“You are stronger then you choose to believe”.

I Believe in Myself!

Life can sometimes be difficult. We have a hard time seeing how it will pan out in our favor, or we often think too much about the future or the past, allowing it to hold us back from our true potential in this moment.

I always ask others who seem to worry or think more than they actually live, “what does worrying do for you, rather than make the situation seem worse than it actually is?” or “Why are you spending so much of your time thinking about what could be when you have the opportunity to live perfectly in this moment, with no fears or worries?”

Now, although I lend advice to others, it is now MYSELF who is having trouble with living in the moment and letting the future be. Because I have first hand witnessed how this way of living has effected me (in the past couple days), being short with friends and family, having zero to no patience, and allowing my ego to blow everything out of proportion, I have made the decision to STOP. I have control and I am taking it back!

Of course life may not be “perfect” right now, but my attitude has only worsened my situation. What is the saying? “As one door closes another one opens.” Well that is my motto right now and I am closing the negative thinking and opening the door to positive thinking. 🙂

BECAUSE…

Focus on the POSITIVES to diminish the negatives.

Water The Flowers

“In your garden, if you focus on and water the weeds then your garden will be full of them. If you focus on the health and nourishment of your flowers, then your flowers will flourish and the weeds will die from a lack of resources on which to thrive.”

I apply this to almost any life circumstance. Work, Love, Pain, Pride and so forth. For quite some time, I’ve seen myself giving weeds too much attention. I haven’t necessarily watered them… but I have not addressed them accordingly. So in not nurturing my flower or killing off the weeds, the garden is in disarray.
I will not use weed killer. Instead, I will make the flowers so strong, roots so thick, that they over power any negative, parasitic surges of the weed(s).

Give little to no attention to anything that can deprive you of your health. Focus on your personal nourishment. Become so strong that even when opposed you are unfazed in any way. You are not insensitive to the attack nor the demise of the weed. You are figuratively wrapped in your powerful petals that are now in full bloom. Beautiful.

-Christiano Can