LOVE on your FEARS

Remember we all stumble,every one of us. That's why is a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

HELLO, some of my favorite people!

Let me start off with a TRUTH BOMB:

The more YOU question YOUR fears, the less they will scare YOU.

I was introduced to Byron Katie over a year ago, and her book and work changed my life.  Since then, whenever I have felt down in the dumps, I’ve used The Work to investigate my thinking.

Our suffering- our anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and utter confusion, is caused by what we are believing.

As Byron Katie says, A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Here are a few of my limiting beliefs:  “You’re not doing enough, you will never amount to anything, you need to be doing more to reach true success.” 

I want to share a story with you.

This morning as I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, I felt a limiting belief creep into my mind.  The sign that I am believing a limiting belief is when I begin to feel physical sensations in my body.  It shows up as resistance, which feels like two bulls fighting each other inside my chest. It’s intense and scary.

The thought that started to gain momentum this morning began as a small voice inside my head.  It told me that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do today (PRESSURE).  And then it went on to say: “You need to be MORE productive.  You need to get MORE shit done.  You better not waste this day.”

Two words: HOW RUDE!

I know you are just as familiar with these thoughts as I am, so let me ask you something:  If someone spoke to you that way, would you still be friends with them?

Probably not.

Let me also ask you this:  Would you ever speak to a friend and/or sister like that?  Would you call them up and demand that they DO MORE and be MORE PRODUCTIVE with their time!?

I have a hunch that you wouldn’t.  We would never treat our friends or sisters like that.

Okay (I am about to get in your face) so WHY on earth do we think it is okay to treat ourselves like that!? Why do we BELIEVE everything we think, especially the beliefs that are so nasty and mean!?

The first answer that comes to me is this:  We have NEVER been taught to question our beliefs. We didn’t receive that type of education growing up.  How are we to know that if a thought causes SUFFERING, IT ISN’T TRUE?

We don’t.

This is why I do what I do, to help YOU understand that YOU are not the voice inside of YOUR head and you don’t have to believe everything it has to say.  There is another way.  A way in which will free you from the misery of your anxiety, depression, confusion, overwhelm, etc.

This leads me back to this mornings story….

Usually, when my inner mean girl comes out to play (THE FEAR), I have a few techniques I use to defuse her power, and most of the time it works, lately however, she’s been kicking my ass a bit.
But something different happened this morning.  I felt a new energy emerge from my body.  It was open and loving.  It felt like two open and loving arms reaching out and welcoming the fear.  There was no fight and no fleeing.

“Wow.  That’s what that feels like,” I thought to myself.

And then this nugget of gold came to me: The more we question our beliefs, the less scared of them we become.

I have practiced many tools to help me DISBELIEVE the limiting beliefs that make me feel small, insecure, lost, depressed, confused, anxious, etc. It isn’t always easy, but it’s paying off, because there is a new energy emerging from within me.
To be able to see my fear and react to it with loving and open arms, is one of the best feelings and gifts in the world. Why? Because there is no fight. What a relief.

The more we fight or flee from our fears, the louder and more savage they become.

“What we resist, persists.”

It is my honor to share this experience with all of you.  The more willing we are to investigate our thinking, the thinking which causes us to feel so unhappy, the happier we become and the more connected and confident we feel.

As Martha Beck told me yesterday:  

Our fears block us from feeling the love and seeing the truth from the Universe, ourselves, and others.

There is nothing that isn’t happening for us.  We live in a loving and kind Universe.
The Universe is on our side- it has our backs.
Believe that to be true, and see how it carries you the rest of the day.

If you are interested in knowing more about The Work, you can visit http://www.thework.com and/or reach out to me.  Get the support you need to feel your best.

I wish you lots of love and joy for the rest of your day.  And remember, you matter.

Love,
Sarah

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Martha Beck + Huff Post: 10 Life Lessons you should UNLEARN

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Here she is again, Mrs. Martha Beck!

I just love this woman and her work.

Here is the article that she recently wrote for The Huffington Post:   10 Life Lessons that you should UNLEARN.

It is a MUST READ.

ENJOY 🙂

Growing Wings Amid Transition

GROWING WINGS:  The Power of Change By Martha Beck

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I used to think I knew how some caterpillars become butterflies. I assumed they weave cocoons, then sit inside growing six long legs, four wings, and so on. I figured if I were to cut open a cocoon, I’d find a butterfly-ish caterpillar, or a caterpillar-ish butterfly, depending on how far things had progressed. I was wrong. In fact, the first thing caterpillars do in their cocoons is shed their skin, leaving a soft, rubbery chrysalis. If you were to look inside the cocoon early on, you’d find nothing but a puddle of glop. But in that glop are certain cells, called imago cells, that contain the DNA-coded instructions for turning bug soup into a delicate, winged creature—the angel of the dead caterpillar.

If you’ve ever been through a major life transition, this may sound familiar. Humans do it, too—not physically but psychologically. All of us will experience metamorphosis several times during our lives, exchanging one identity for another. You’ve probably already changed from baby to child to adolescent to adult—these are obvious, well-recognized stages in the life cycle. But even after you’re all grown up, your identity isn’t fixed. You may change marital status, become a parent, switch careers, get sick, win the lottery.

Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis. I don’t know if this is emotionally stressful for caterpillars, but for humans it can be hell on wheels. The best way to minimize trauma is to understand the process.

The Phases of Human Metamorphosis

Psychological metamorphosis has four phases. You’ll go through these phases, more or less in order, after any major change catalyst (falling in love or breaking up, getting or losing a job, having children or emptying the nest, etc.). The strategies for dealing with change depend on the phase you’re experiencing.

Phase 1: Dissolving (aka Death & Rebirth)

Here’s the Deal
The first phase of change is the scariest, especially because we aren’t taught to expect it. It’s the time when we lose our identity and are left temporarily formless: person soup. Most people fight like crazy to keep their identities from dissolving. “This is just a blip,” we tell ourselves when circumstances rock our world. “I’m the same person, and my life will go back to being the way it was.”

Sometimes this is true. But in other cases, when real metamorphosis has begun, we run into a welter of “dissolving” experiences. We may feel that everything is falling apart, that we’re losing everyone and everything. Dissolving feels like death, because it is—it’s the demise of the person you’ve been.

What to Do
When we’re dissolving we may get hysterical, fight our feelings, try to recapture our former lives, or jump immediately toward some new status quo (“rebound romance” is a classic example). All these measures actually slow down Phase One and make it more painful. The following strategies work better:

In Phase 1, Live One Day (or 10 minutes) at a Time
Instead of dwelling on hopes and fears about an unknowable future, focus your attention on whatever is happening right now.

“Cocoon” by Caring For Yourself in Physical, Immediate Ways
Wrap yourself in a blanket, make yourself a cup of hot tea, attend an exercise class, whatever feels comforting.

Talk to Others Who Have Gone Through a Metamorphosis
If you don’t have a wise relative or friend, a therapist can be a source of reassurance.

Let Yourself Grieve
Even if you are leaving an unpleasant situation (a bad marriage, a job you didn’t like), you’ll probably go through the normal human response to any loss: the emotional roller coaster called the grieving process. You’ll cycle through denial, anger, sadness, and acceptance many times. Just experiencing these feelings will help them pass more quickly.

If you think this sounds frustratingly passive, you’re right. Dissolving isn’t something you do; it’s something that happens to you. The closest you’ll come to controlling it is relaxing and trusting the process.

Phase I Mantra

“I don’t know what the hell is going on… and that’s okay.”

Phase 2: Imagining (aka Dreaming and Scheming)

Here’s the Deal
For those of us who have just a few tiny control issues, Phase 2 is as welcome as rain after drought. This is when the part of you that knows your destiny, the imago in your psyche, will begin giving you instructions about how to reorganize the remnants of your old identity into something altogether different.

The word imago is the root of the word image. You’ll know you’re beginning Phase 2 when your mind’s eye starts seeing images of the life you are about to create. These can’t be forced—like dissolving, they happen to you—and they are never what you expected. You’re becoming a new person, and you’ll develop traits and interests your old self didn’t have. You may feel compelled to change your hairstyle or wardrobe, or redecorate your living space. The old order simply seems wrong, and you’ll begin reordering your outer situation to reflect your inner rebirth.

What to Do
Here are some ways you may want to respond when you begin spontaneously imagining the future:

Create a “Vision Board”
Cut Out Magazine Pictures You Find Appealing or Interesting. Glue them onto a piece of butcher paper. The resulting collage will be an illustration of the life you’re trying to create. Look at the images and “feel them” or imagine yourself experiencing them for up to 10 minutes everyday.

Let Yourself Daydream
Your job is to try out imaginary scenarios until you have a clear picture of your goals and desires. You’ll save a lot of time, effort, and grief by giving yourself time to do this in your head before you attempt it in the real world.

Phase 2 is all about images: making them up, making them clear, making them possible. Moving through this stage, you’ll start to feel an impulse to go from dreaming (imagining possibilities) to scheming (planning to bring your vision to fruition). Write down both dreams and schemes, then gather information about how you might create them.

Phase 2 Mantra

“There are no rules… and that’s okay.”

Phase 3: Re-forming (aka The Hero’s Saga)

Here’s the Deal
As your dreams become schemes, you’ll begin itching to make them come true. This signals Phase 3, the implementation stage of the change process. Phase 3is when you stop fantasizing about selling your art and start submitting work to galleries, or go beyond ogling a friend’s brother to having her set you up on a date. You’ll feel motivated to do real, physical things to build a new life. And then…(drum roll, please)…you’ll fail. Repeatedly.

I’ve gone through Phase 3many times and watched hundreds of clients do the same. I’ve never seen a significant scheme succeed on the first try. Re-forming your life, like anything new, complex, and important, inevitably brings up problems you didn’t expect. That’s why, in contrast to the starry eyes that are so useful in Phase 2, Phase 3 demands the ingenuity of Thomas Edison and the tenacity of a pit bull.

What to Do
Expect Things To Go Wrong
Many of my clients have an early failure and consider this a sign that “it just wasn’t meant to be.” This is a useful philosophy if you want to spend your life as person soup. To become all that you can be, you must keep working toward your dreams even when your initial efforts are unsuccessful.

Be Willing to Start Over
Every time your plans fail, you’ll briefly return to Phase 1, feeling lost and confused. This is an opportunity to release some of the illusions that created hitches in your plan.

Revisit Phase 2
Adjusting your dreams and schemes to include the truths you’ve learned from your experimentation.

Persist
Keep debugging and reimplementing your new-and-improved plans until they work. If you’ve followed all the steps above, they eventually will.

What goes on in the cocoon of change isn’t always pretty, but the results can be beautiful. Martha Beck talks you through the four phases of human metamorphosis. Get ready to fly!

Phase 3 Mantra

“This is much worse than I expected… and that’s okay.”

Phase 4: Full Flight (aka The Promised Land)

Here’s the Deal
Phase 3 is like crawling out of your cocoon and waiting for your crumpled, soggy wings to dry and expand. Phase 4 is the payoff, the time when your new identity is fully formed and able to fly.

What to Do
The following strategies—which can help you optimize this delightful situation—are about fine-tuning, not drastic transformation.

Enjoy!
You’ve just negotiated a scary and dramatic transformation, and you deserve to savor your new identity. Spend time every day focusing on gratitude for your success.

Make Small Improvements
Find little ways to make your new life a bit less stressful, a bit more pleasurable.

Know That Another Change is Just Around the Bend
There’s no way to predict how long you’ll stay in Phase 4; maybe days, maybe decades. Don’t attribute your happiness to your new identity; security lies in knowing how to deal with metamorphosis, whenever it occurs.

Phase 4 Mantra

“Everything is changing… and that’s okay.” 

Want to read more from Martha Beck?  Check out her website and blog here:  http://marthabeck.com


This is a foundational concept to my life coach training program.  All of my life coaches are trained to understand and coach their clients through the change cycle. You can read more about it in my book, Finding Your Own North Star, or understand it and work through it with one of my Martha Beck Life Coaches.

Martha Beck- Four Technologies of Magic

I cannot get enough of this woman!  Martha Beck is amazingly brilliant and so inspiring.  She is someone who each and every one of us can relate to.  She has experienced many things in her life, from good to bad.  She has the ability to give her experiences profound meaning, which can be both eye-opening and transformative.

This Ted Talk just shows another glimpse of her brilliance.  She invites us to take another step into ourselves and to find that inner self that we have been slightly ignoring.  We each possess the magic within to transform our lives and our world.  Get inspired and live your best life!  Take twenty minutes to watch this video and I promise you, you will walk away feeling more awake then ever.

INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE

I wanted to create a page that showed and shared the lives of people whom I think have inspired others to live happier and healthier lives.

The people below inspire me and lift me up when I need it the most.  They share many insightful teachings that have opened my heart to my true essence.

I hope you too find the stories and teachings inspiring as well as eye opening!

ENJOY!

Get to know Marianne Williamson through watching the videos and reading her quotes and books that are posted below. She is truly an inspiration and a brilliant woman!

Here is Marianne on Oprah!

Full Episode: Oprah and Marianne Williamson – Video

I have to say that watching this 40 minute video brought me so much happiness and joy! It is all about LOVE! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! It is everywhere… Spread it. 🙂

A Return to Love

quotes

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?

― Marianne Williamson

“Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”
― Marianne Williamson

“And no one will listen to us until we listen to ourselves.”
― Marianne Williamson

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”
― Marianne Williamson

“We are not held back by the love we didn’t receive in the past, but by the love we’re not extending in the present.”
― Marianne Williamson


As I watched Janine on a recent TEDTalk, explaining her life as an Olympian and then tragically being hit by a car, never to walk again (as she was standing while giving her speech), I knew that she would be a true inspiration to many of us!

This video is magnificent!

“Believe in the unknown because the unknown is sometimes where infinite impossibilities become infinite possibilities.”

Tony Robbins has inspired many people around the world to live better lives. He has had 30 years experience, coaching and giving people the tools to transform their lives. I have had friends attend his weekend-long events, a friend in particular, who has attended almost every event in the past two years and I truly believe if it wasn’t for her attending Tony Robbins she wouldn’t be where she is today. He has a magical gift to help others open their hearts and show them their true colors. He unleashes the power within!


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What others have said about Tony.

“He has a great gift. He has the gift to inspire.”
President Bill Clinton

“The man who has inspired millions to change their lives! [Tony] brings out the best in all of us. The world is a better place because of him.”
Larry King

“No matter who you are, no matter how successful, no matter how happy–Tony has something to offer you.”
Hugh Jackman

“Tony Robbins’ coaching has made a remarkable difference in my life both on and off the court. With Tony’s help, I’ve set new standards for myself, and I’ve taken my tennis game—and my life—to a whole new level!”
Serena Williams

“I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.”

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

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I absolutely love Martha Beck!  She has the ability to give meaning to almost everything in life and then connect to people on a very personal level.  Martha is a renowned life coach, has a column in O, The Oprah Winfrey Magazinehas published some best selling books, and has a MA and Ph.D from Harvard University.

I can’t say enough about how inspiring and magnificent this woman is.  You just have to see for yourself!

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http://www.oprah.com/contributor/martha-beck

http://marthabeck.com/category/spirituality-healing/

videos

quotes

“If your life is cloudy and you’re far, far off course, you may have to go on faith for a while, but eventually you’ll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life.”

“Whatever you love, there’s a market for it…Do what your passion tells you, there’s a group of people looking for that.”

“Where your attention goes, your life goes.”

The average adult laughs 15 times a day; the average child, more than 400 times.

books

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See more of Martha’s work here:  http://marthabeck.com/product-type/books/