LOVE on your FEARS

Remember we all stumble,every one of us. That's why is a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

HELLO, some of my favorite people!

Let me start off with a TRUTH BOMB:

The more YOU question YOUR fears, the less they will scare YOU.

I was introduced to Byron Katie over a year ago, and her book and work changed my life.  Since then, whenever I have felt down in the dumps, I’ve used The Work to investigate my thinking.

Our suffering- our anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and utter confusion, is caused by what we are believing.

As Byron Katie says, A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Here are a few of my limiting beliefs:  “You’re not doing enough, you will never amount to anything, you need to be doing more to reach true success.” 

I want to share a story with you.

This morning as I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, I felt a limiting belief creep into my mind.  The sign that I am believing a limiting belief is when I begin to feel physical sensations in my body.  It shows up as resistance, which feels like two bulls fighting each other inside my chest. It’s intense and scary.

The thought that started to gain momentum this morning began as a small voice inside my head.  It told me that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do today (PRESSURE).  And then it went on to say: “You need to be MORE productive.  You need to get MORE shit done.  You better not waste this day.”

Two words: HOW RUDE!

I know you are just as familiar with these thoughts as I am, so let me ask you something:  If someone spoke to you that way, would you still be friends with them?

Probably not.

Let me also ask you this:  Would you ever speak to a friend and/or sister like that?  Would you call them up and demand that they DO MORE and be MORE PRODUCTIVE with their time!?

I have a hunch that you wouldn’t.  We would never treat our friends or sisters like that.

Okay (I am about to get in your face) so WHY on earth do we think it is okay to treat ourselves like that!? Why do we BELIEVE everything we think, especially the beliefs that are so nasty and mean!?

The first answer that comes to me is this:  We have NEVER been taught to question our beliefs. We didn’t receive that type of education growing up.  How are we to know that if a thought causes SUFFERING, IT ISN’T TRUE?

We don’t.

This is why I do what I do, to help YOU understand that YOU are not the voice inside of YOUR head and you don’t have to believe everything it has to say.  There is another way.  A way in which will free you from the misery of your anxiety, depression, confusion, overwhelm, etc.

This leads me back to this mornings story….

Usually, when my inner mean girl comes out to play (THE FEAR), I have a few techniques I use to defuse her power, and most of the time it works, lately however, she’s been kicking my ass a bit.
But something different happened this morning.  I felt a new energy emerge from my body.  It was open and loving.  It felt like two open and loving arms reaching out and welcoming the fear.  There was no fight and no fleeing.

“Wow.  That’s what that feels like,” I thought to myself.

And then this nugget of gold came to me: The more we question our beliefs, the less scared of them we become.

I have practiced many tools to help me DISBELIEVE the limiting beliefs that make me feel small, insecure, lost, depressed, confused, anxious, etc. It isn’t always easy, but it’s paying off, because there is a new energy emerging from within me.
To be able to see my fear and react to it with loving and open arms, is one of the best feelings and gifts in the world. Why? Because there is no fight. What a relief.

The more we fight or flee from our fears, the louder and more savage they become.

“What we resist, persists.”

It is my honor to share this experience with all of you.  The more willing we are to investigate our thinking, the thinking which causes us to feel so unhappy, the happier we become and the more connected and confident we feel.

As Martha Beck told me yesterday:  

Our fears block us from feeling the love and seeing the truth from the Universe, ourselves, and others.

There is nothing that isn’t happening for us.  We live in a loving and kind Universe.
The Universe is on our side- it has our backs.
Believe that to be true, and see how it carries you the rest of the day.

If you are interested in knowing more about The Work, you can visit http://www.thework.com and/or reach out to me.  Get the support you need to feel your best.

I wish you lots of love and joy for the rest of your day.  And remember, you matter.

Love,
Sarah

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Be a Better Friend to Yourself

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GOT IT!?

How do you treat yourself? Mentally?

Are you aware of the mental chatter going on inside of your head? Do you notice how often the voice inside of your head makes you feel crappy about yourself and your life? Well let me SHOOT some TRUTH YOUR WAY: That voice, who makes you feel less than you really are, is NOT who you are, nor do you have to listen to or BELIEVE what is has to say.

Sure, it may feel true. And you could argue with me that those thoughts (which cause you to feel anxious or depressed) may in fact be true. But let me ask you something?
When you BELIEVE thoughts that make you feel crummy, what is the indicator that they are true? How can you REALLY know, 100%, that they’re TRUE?

Think about it…

Go inside and see what comes up for you.

I have a friend who believes that before she starts her business, she needs to have ALL her I’s dotted and T’s crossed. She had this story when I met her (8 months ago) and still lives by it today. And what has this belief given to her? A lot of UNNECESSARY stress and a lack of self-confidence and courage to get her BUSINESS out into the world.

Does she have her T’s crossed and I’s dotted?

YOU BET SHE DOES

And is she a wonderful and smart women who has a special gift to share with the world?  YOU BET SHE IS! Yet, she is still believing that she needs to DO MORE, in order for her to begin, and that my friends, is what’s HOLDING HER BACK.

I want you to hold a thought in your mind that makes you feel crappy. Such as: (I will use my own personal playlist, that my inner mean girl uses, when she likes to come out to play) you’re not doing enough, you will never be successful, you should watch what you eat (you don’t want to get fat!), you need to be doing more to be better, etc. Now find a thought that your inner mean girl uses when she comes out to play.

Got it? (DO THIS PEOPLE)

Now hold that belief in your mind FOR 30 seconds.

How do you feel?

Write down ALL of the feelings and PHYSICAL sensations in your BODY, that came up while believing this thought. Such as: tight, suffocating, clogged, heavy, etc.

(WRITE THEM DOWN, for reals!)

Okay, shake that shit off. Really, shake it off and get back to YOUR happy place.

NOW, hold a belief that you KNOW to be TRUE. For example (my truth): I love horses, I want to be happy, I love my partner, the sky is blue, etc.

NOW, hold that belief in your mind for 30 seconds.

How do you feel after believing that thought?

Better right?

Let me let you in on a TOP SECRET: IF A THOUGHT CAUSES YOU TO SUFFER (anxious, depressed, worried, unhappy) IT IS NOT TRUE.

Notice how you FELT when you held the absolute truth in your mind. Good right? A lot better then when you held the belief that your inner mean girl throws at you, huh?

When you BELIEVE the TRUTH it feels like freedom and when you believe a LIE, it feels like SHIT.

I know this may be a lot for your mind to comprehend, but it doesn’t need to comprehend it right now. Just notice how you feel when you believe the truth, the god to honest truth, like the sky is blue, and when you believe something that causes you to feel crappy about yourself.

It’s like hot and cold, right?

Wouldn’t you want to believe the TRUTH and FEEL FREE, then believe and LIE and feel like crap???

Easier said then done, I know. However, I am LIVING PROOF, that it is POSSIBLE. I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and ALL of it stemmed from the inner dialogue that was going on upstairs.

With a few coaching sessions under your belt, you will understand how you inner mean girl operates, how you can break free from the LIMITING beliefs that hold you back (like my friend), and create a happier life for yourself.

It all starts with you my dear.

And let me REMIND you of something: You are EFFING amazing and you have an incredible gift to share with the world. If I believe that, you can believe it. Don’t you EVER give up on yourself and when you’re in the DUMPS, reach out to a loved one and treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. NO exceptions.

“Be a better friend to yourself.” – ME

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Want even more? Get coached. It’s the best investment I ever gave to myself. And that is a promise.

Will this help a friend in need? Share it with them, using the links below!

Questions/Comments? EMAIL ME @ hello@sarahcaracciolo.com

I would LOVE to hear from you.

 

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MY PROGRAMS

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Monday’s Perspective

Today, you may wake up and feel uninspired to make today count.
However, what if you changed-up your perspective a little? Rather than dreading your day to come, what if you accepted the feeling which is causing you to suffer?
Imagine yourself opening the door to this feeling.
Sit with it for a second, without trying to ‘fix’ it. 
Now, after welcoming this feeling, try to envision it flowing out of you. 
At this time, choose to focus your attention on the things that bring you happiness, in this moment.
It could be as little as a morning kiss from your dog.
Make a pact with yourself, that today, you will try your best to focus on all that is good in your life.
It can be tricky, but once we begin to practice this way of life, we allow other things, which also bring us happiness, into our lives.
As Martha Beck says,
“Where your attention goes, your life goes.” 
And to be honest, when you stop and look around, this life is PRETTY AMAZING. 
#ENJOYtoday

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*Perspective* can make all the difference

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There are tough times we need to go through in order to grow and flourish.
Looking back, I now realize that the perspective of a situation can make all the difference.
If you see a challenging day as a crappy day, then that is what you will experience.
However, if you see a challenging day for what it is: a challenging day, and you accept it without resisting it, you could change your perspective and change your life.
Just because it rains doesn’t mean that the sun won’t shine again.
Trust yourself, the Universe, or whomever you call the higher power, that you are where you are supposed to be and will be guided where you need to go.
LIFE IS HAPPENING FOR YOU, not TO YOU.
#betruebeyou

We Love Elizabeth Gilbert …. And You Will Too!

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Elizabeth Gilbert warms my heart through her words. #BEeasyOnYourself
THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Blind spots and self-compassion.

I’ve been thinking for the last few weeks about the blind spots in our lives, in ourselves. How humbling it can be to realize — even after all these years of experience with life — that there is still so much we cannot see, still so much to learn, still so much to trip over or crash into.

It’s so hard sometimes to forgive ourselves when we stumble and mess up. There’s always that most critical part of ourselves who thinks, “After all this time, you blew it again?! Seriously?! You still haven’t gotten it right? How could you not have seen this coming?”

But then I remember that the very definition of a blind spot is something that you simply cannot see through or see around. We all have our blind spots. These blind spots are part of our shared humanity. And we cannot beat ourselves up for things that we were incapable of seeing or learning before we saw them or learned them.

You will get it when you get it — and not a moment before.

You will wake up when you wake up — and not a moment before. 

And then you will do better next time. But only if you allow yourself to move on. 

So blink, dear ones. Clear your eyes, take in the lesson, forgive yourself for what you could not possibly have known any earlier, and keep moving.

Easier said than done, I know. I am speaking to myself today as much as to you. But please, above of all: Be very kind to you.

You’re doing your best.

Forward ever, backward never.

Heart,
LG

Life is to be Experienced

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This quote grabbed my attention the first time I saw it.  I just love it!  

Right now in my life, I feel like my purpose is to experience myself fully, in every way that I can.  What does that mean? For me, it means treating myself the way a best friend would treat me; with love, kindness, patience, acceptance, etc.  It also means to go out on a limb and treat myself to a weekend get-a-way, a nice walk in the park, a movie and dinner, time with horses, or anything that may excite me or bring me back to my heart center.

I know that there are MANY distractions in life, whether it be raising children, working 40 + hours a week, the one too many obligations and commitments, or one of the other 100 distractions that make us feel like there isn’t enough time in a day.  However, if we don’t take time for ourselves, we begin to lose the spark that makes us feel ALIVE and HAPPY.  If we don’t take care of ourselves, there is NO WAY that we can take care of others to our best of ability.  By giving ourselves the time and attention we deserve, we somehow make more time for others and by doing so we live a happier and more fulfilling life.

Experience yourself today!  Do something that makes your heart dance, I don’t care if it’s only for 15 minutes.  Give yourself a present today:  your OWN PRESENCE.

Be true, Be wild, Be You!

New Day, New Strength, New Thoughts …

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Today is a NEW day, so let’s act like it! 

I know it is tempting to dwell on past experiences that made us feel crummy. I also know that once we begin a thought pattern of a particular experience that caused us to suffer, the mental downward spiral begins and when it begins, it feels like there is no end in sight. I know this because I have done this to myself, not intentionally of course, but countless and countless times. But there is a different way to live. I know because I have started to live this way. I have come to realize that I have a choice. I get to choose what I focus on. I know at times it seems like we are constantly losing the battle between our egos and our hearts. The ego seems to be louder and more bossy, where our hearts seem to be soft and subtle, making it more challenging for us to listen to it. However, I am here to tell you that there is a way to make our hearts appear louder and our egos softer. A way which will help us become happier people.

Imagine this:

For every new day, picture a great big BLANK canvas and you as the painter decide what goes on that canvas and what doesn’t.  There may be  past experiences and feelings that creep into your mind and crave to be the center of attention,  but ultimately you have the final say for what remains on the canvas. Do you want to experience the same old “shit” from yesterday, two weeks ago, or 6 months ago? Or do you want to start fresh and begin again? Well, great news, YOU have the freedom to decide.  Some of the old baggage will mangle its way through and reappear on your canvas, but don’t worry, that is OKAY.  Our focus should not be on the old baggage, but on the NEW, EXCITING, and SMALL events that appear on our canvas.  Once we begin to pay more attention to the events and experiences that bring us joy, we create room for further joy-filled experiences.  By shifting our attention, from negative to the positive, we slowly, but surely, make life-long changes that will pave the way for a happier existence.    

Where is your FOCUS?

Love Circle

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I want this blog post to be short and sweet.
I think it is very important for everyone to create a love circle for themselves.  There are many things that we can over analyze, fixate, or dwell on that do not serve us well.  Just this morning I had an argument or should I say, an intense conversation with someone who I had argued with earlier in the week.  After the first argument, I was a bit flustered and spending far too much of my energy over analyzing it.  I soon noticed this and recognized how thinking about it (a lot more than I should have) was bringing me nothing but frustration and anger.  I decided right then and there that I was going to let it go.  I cut the string that was binding me with this negative energy together and BOOM, it was gone.  And I hadn’t really thought about that conversation/argument until this morning, when I unexpectedly ran into this person again.
Now, between the time that the first argument had occurred and this morning’s conversation, I had had a discussion with a friend about how he could create a love circle for himself.  It seemed he had a tendency to surround himself with bogus energy and it continually brought him unnecessary drama that caused him to suffer.  I told him to imagine a love circle surrounding his body that only allowed positive, warm, loving, and compassionate energy into this circle.  Then I advised him to imagine a little door attached to this love circle that allowed him to release any negative energy that he may be holding onto.  I asked him to slowly open the door and cut the string that tied him to the negative energy.  “Now watch, I said, as the energy rapidly disappears out of the door, into the unknown, where it can no longer hurt you.”  Then, gracefully shut the door.   As I was explaining this to him, I realized that this was a good practice for me, and for everyone.
 
And so this morning, after I had succumbed to a second argument with this person and after I called a friend to bitch about how annoying I thought this person was and blah, blah, blah, I realized that I was doing it again.  I was giving this  situation too much of my energy, when it didn’t benefit me whatsoever.  It made me angry and frustrated and that really wasn’t what I wanted to focus on!  I wanted to have a good day, just as it had started earlier that morning. So I closed my eyes and imagined my love circle surrounding me.  I took all of the frustration and annoyance, bundled it up, and opened my door, allowing it all to be sucked out.  I then shut the door and felt a sense of relief throughout my entire body.  I was free to be me without any bad energy bringing me down or distracting me from the beauty that surrounded me.
TA-DAH!
It is that simple.  Don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be.  Is something or someone bothering you?  Open the door to your love circle and let it GO.  You may need to re-visit  some of your situations or dilemmas at another time, but for now, if it isn’t serving you any purpose let it go until you can see the truth in the matter.
Be calm, be gentle, BE YOU!

Martha Beck- Four Technologies of Magic

I cannot get enough of this woman!  Martha Beck is amazingly brilliant and so inspiring.  She is someone who each and every one of us can relate to.  She has experienced many things in her life, from good to bad.  She has the ability to give her experiences profound meaning, which can be both eye-opening and transformative.

This Ted Talk just shows another glimpse of her brilliance.  She invites us to take another step into ourselves and to find that inner self that we have been slightly ignoring.  We each possess the magic within to transform our lives and our world.  Get inspired and live your best life!  Take twenty minutes to watch this video and I promise you, you will walk away feeling more awake then ever.

A WINNER is a DREAMER Who Never Gives Up.

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I absolutely adore this quote and the man himself who once said it.  Quite remarkable, that Nelson Mandela, a man who suffered a great deal was able to remain true to himself throughout times of hardship and then persevere with great wisdom and courage.  To this day he continues to inspire people all over the world.

He is a man who we can all learn from.

Everyone in this entire world has experienced suffering.  However, that doesn’t mean we should give-up on ourselves.  We possess the courage, will-power, and strength to overcome any obstacle.

The magic lies within you.  If you can change your attitude and beliefs in midst of suffering, you will have an entire new outlook and inner peace than you ever had before.  It is all about the perspective you choose to view your life through.  For example, Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”   He also had several more of his businesses fail until he premiered Snow White and it became a famous child hood movie.

The point is to NEVER GIVE UP on yourself.  Sure life will throw you some curve balls, some fast ones too, but it is all FOR you.  Everything that happens to you, whether it appears to be good or bad, is all for your higher purpose.  Embrace failed endeavors, look at them as old paths coming to a dead end and a new one reappearing, taking you to places you never dreamt of going.

It is time that we shut out our old beliefs that make us feel depressed and sad whenever a obstacle gets in our way, and replace them with an open mind and positive attitude.  Everything will work out and ultimately everything happens for a reason, you just have to believe in yourself and trust that everything will fall into place exactly how it should.  Scary?  I know. I have been there many times.  However, the courage, wisdom, and self-confidence I have gained throughout the course of it all is irreplacable.

So if you are experiencing a rough ‘growth spurt’,  please do not become discouraged by it.  Focus on whatever it is that you are working towards and keep moving forward.  We may not understand why life throws us curves balls, but we MUST trust that it is what we need in order to reach our full potential in life.

And remember…

 Never, EVER, give up on yourself!  You are far more capable then you realize.