LOVE on your FEARS

Remember we all stumble,every one of us. That's why is a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

HELLO, some of my favorite people!

Let me start off with a TRUTH BOMB:

The more YOU question YOUR fears, the less they will scare YOU.

I was introduced to Byron Katie over a year ago, and her book and work changed my life.  Since then, whenever I have felt down in the dumps, I’ve used The Work to investigate my thinking.

Our suffering- our anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and utter confusion, is caused by what we are believing.

As Byron Katie says, A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Here are a few of my limiting beliefs:  “You’re not doing enough, you will never amount to anything, you need to be doing more to reach true success.” 

I want to share a story with you.

This morning as I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, I felt a limiting belief creep into my mind.  The sign that I am believing a limiting belief is when I begin to feel physical sensations in my body.  It shows up as resistance, which feels like two bulls fighting each other inside my chest. It’s intense and scary.

The thought that started to gain momentum this morning began as a small voice inside my head.  It told me that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do today (PRESSURE).  And then it went on to say: “You need to be MORE productive.  You need to get MORE shit done.  You better not waste this day.”

Two words: HOW RUDE!

I know you are just as familiar with these thoughts as I am, so let me ask you something:  If someone spoke to you that way, would you still be friends with them?

Probably not.

Let me also ask you this:  Would you ever speak to a friend and/or sister like that?  Would you call them up and demand that they DO MORE and be MORE PRODUCTIVE with their time!?

I have a hunch that you wouldn’t.  We would never treat our friends or sisters like that.

Okay (I am about to get in your face) so WHY on earth do we think it is okay to treat ourselves like that!? Why do we BELIEVE everything we think, especially the beliefs that are so nasty and mean!?

The first answer that comes to me is this:  We have NEVER been taught to question our beliefs. We didn’t receive that type of education growing up.  How are we to know that if a thought causes SUFFERING, IT ISN’T TRUE?

We don’t.

This is why I do what I do, to help YOU understand that YOU are not the voice inside of YOUR head and you don’t have to believe everything it has to say.  There is another way.  A way in which will free you from the misery of your anxiety, depression, confusion, overwhelm, etc.

This leads me back to this mornings story….

Usually, when my inner mean girl comes out to play (THE FEAR), I have a few techniques I use to defuse her power, and most of the time it works, lately however, she’s been kicking my ass a bit.
But something different happened this morning.  I felt a new energy emerge from my body.  It was open and loving.  It felt like two open and loving arms reaching out and welcoming the fear.  There was no fight and no fleeing.

“Wow.  That’s what that feels like,” I thought to myself.

And then this nugget of gold came to me: The more we question our beliefs, the less scared of them we become.

I have practiced many tools to help me DISBELIEVE the limiting beliefs that make me feel small, insecure, lost, depressed, confused, anxious, etc. It isn’t always easy, but it’s paying off, because there is a new energy emerging from within me.
To be able to see my fear and react to it with loving and open arms, is one of the best feelings and gifts in the world. Why? Because there is no fight. What a relief.

The more we fight or flee from our fears, the louder and more savage they become.

“What we resist, persists.”

It is my honor to share this experience with all of you.  The more willing we are to investigate our thinking, the thinking which causes us to feel so unhappy, the happier we become and the more connected and confident we feel.

As Martha Beck told me yesterday:  

Our fears block us from feeling the love and seeing the truth from the Universe, ourselves, and others.

There is nothing that isn’t happening for us.  We live in a loving and kind Universe.
The Universe is on our side- it has our backs.
Believe that to be true, and see how it carries you the rest of the day.

If you are interested in knowing more about The Work, you can visit http://www.thework.com and/or reach out to me.  Get the support you need to feel your best.

I wish you lots of love and joy for the rest of your day.  And remember, you matter.

Love,
Sarah

Be a Better Friend to Yourself

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GOT IT!?

How do you treat yourself? Mentally?

Are you aware of the mental chatter going on inside of your head? Do you notice how often the voice inside of your head makes you feel crappy about yourself and your life? Well let me SHOOT some TRUTH YOUR WAY: That voice, who makes you feel less than you really are, is NOT who you are, nor do you have to listen to or BELIEVE what is has to say.

Sure, it may feel true. And you could argue with me that those thoughts (which cause you to feel anxious or depressed) may in fact be true. But let me ask you something?
When you BELIEVE thoughts that make you feel crummy, what is the indicator that they are true? How can you REALLY know, 100%, that they’re TRUE?

Think about it…

Go inside and see what comes up for you.

I have a friend who believes that before she starts her business, she needs to have ALL her I’s dotted and T’s crossed. She had this story when I met her (8 months ago) and still lives by it today. And what has this belief given to her? A lot of UNNECESSARY stress and a lack of self-confidence and courage to get her BUSINESS out into the world.

Does she have her T’s crossed and I’s dotted?

YOU BET SHE DOES

And is she a wonderful and smart women who has a special gift to share with the world?  YOU BET SHE IS! Yet, she is still believing that she needs to DO MORE, in order for her to begin, and that my friends, is what’s HOLDING HER BACK.

I want you to hold a thought in your mind that makes you feel crappy. Such as: (I will use my own personal playlist, that my inner mean girl uses, when she likes to come out to play) you’re not doing enough, you will never be successful, you should watch what you eat (you don’t want to get fat!), you need to be doing more to be better, etc. Now find a thought that your inner mean girl uses when she comes out to play.

Got it? (DO THIS PEOPLE)

Now hold that belief in your mind FOR 30 seconds.

How do you feel?

Write down ALL of the feelings and PHYSICAL sensations in your BODY, that came up while believing this thought. Such as: tight, suffocating, clogged, heavy, etc.

(WRITE THEM DOWN, for reals!)

Okay, shake that shit off. Really, shake it off and get back to YOUR happy place.

NOW, hold a belief that you KNOW to be TRUE. For example (my truth): I love horses, I want to be happy, I love my partner, the sky is blue, etc.

NOW, hold that belief in your mind for 30 seconds.

How do you feel after believing that thought?

Better right?

Let me let you in on a TOP SECRET: IF A THOUGHT CAUSES YOU TO SUFFER (anxious, depressed, worried, unhappy) IT IS NOT TRUE.

Notice how you FELT when you held the absolute truth in your mind. Good right? A lot better then when you held the belief that your inner mean girl throws at you, huh?

When you BELIEVE the TRUTH it feels like freedom and when you believe a LIE, it feels like SHIT.

I know this may be a lot for your mind to comprehend, but it doesn’t need to comprehend it right now. Just notice how you feel when you believe the truth, the god to honest truth, like the sky is blue, and when you believe something that causes you to feel crappy about yourself.

It’s like hot and cold, right?

Wouldn’t you want to believe the TRUTH and FEEL FREE, then believe and LIE and feel like crap???

Easier said then done, I know. However, I am LIVING PROOF, that it is POSSIBLE. I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and ALL of it stemmed from the inner dialogue that was going on upstairs.

With a few coaching sessions under your belt, you will understand how you inner mean girl operates, how you can break free from the LIMITING beliefs that hold you back (like my friend), and create a happier life for yourself.

It all starts with you my dear.

And let me REMIND you of something: You are EFFING amazing and you have an incredible gift to share with the world. If I believe that, you can believe it. Don’t you EVER give up on yourself and when you’re in the DUMPS, reach out to a loved one and treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. NO exceptions.

“Be a better friend to yourself.” – ME

Want more? SUBSCRIBE to receive my weekly and monthly SOUL-EMPOWERING updates; Be the Best Version of Yourself.

Want even more? Get coached. It’s the best investment I ever gave to myself. And that is a promise.

Will this help a friend in need? Share it with them, using the links below!

Questions/Comments? EMAIL ME @ hello@sarahcaracciolo.com

I would LOVE to hear from you.

 

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MY PROGRAMS

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What @ Blessing

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I can give myself whatever it is that I am seeking from another person.

For example, say I wanted to hear from a special someone, yet the reality of the situation was that I didn’t hear from that person.  As soon as my expectation is met with the reality of the situation (not hearing from that person), I become sad and a tad angry.

So I ask myself a question:  What would I have in this moment, that I don’t have right now, if I was to hear from this person?

ANSWER:  Love, appreciation, being cared for, etc.

Hmm… well if my feelings are the only thing that would change, can’t I give those experiences to myself?  Can’t I imagine what it would feel like to receive that from another person and then give it to myself?

YES, why yes I CAN!

I can give myself LOVE, APPRECIATION, and acts of kindness, the same way any other person could.

Wow, what a great and humbling SURPRISE.

The love and appreciation that I give to myself, feels like a thousand shooting stars.

What a feeling!

I choose PEACE

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What an amazing discovery to learn and experience. Although I am in the midst of it, I am slowly realizing, after time and time again of pointing the finger outward and blaming others for my suffering, that no one can disturb the inner ball of peace that resides within me.

Sure, it may seem like they can. Especially when their actions speak mountains louder than their words, or they don’t text or call me back when I assumed they would, or they leave me hanging without saying good-bye. But does any amount of suffering change the reality of the situation? Does it change them or their actions? In my experience, no. But do you know what it does effect? My happiness.

I am ready to surrender. I put up a good fight- the best fight in my egos eyes. But for what? To feel like shit over and over again?

I don’t want to suffer because of someone else. I don’t want to point the finger at another being because I don’t agree with how he or she is living or treating me. What do I know? How do I know that their way of living isn’t true for them? I don’t. And who is living my life when I am constantly concerned with their where a bouts? Who is taking care of me when I am over there worried about their life? Nobody. I am too busy trying to live their life for them, that I forget about me and my life. How exhausting.

So here I lay, waiting for the fog to clear the morning air.  I feel calm. I feel a new self emerging and another dying.  This new self feels like it has just been born.  It is still unsure of how to go about things and what to make of this new life, but it is alive and well.  I feel hopeful.

I am sick of fighting something or someone who I have no control over. I want to be happy and free. Waking up this morning, I remembered what I repeated to myself last night before I went to bed: I choose PEACE. And when a certain situation frazzled my social self this morning, I remembered that I have a choice: I can become angry and fall into the hamster wheel of madness, because a certain situation didn’t play out how I would’ve liked it to, or I can choose PEACE.

I choose PEACE. The rest is beyond me…

 

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We Live in a MAGICAL World ✈✈✈

Wow!  Well this is CRAZYYY!

I completely forgot that I wrote a blog post a couple of months ago, regarding this next blog, that I am about to share with you. It wasn’t until I lived through a unique sequence of events, that I realized I had already written a blog about my travel intentions.

 

 And now there is so much JUICY news to share! 

To summarize the blog post (that I wrote back in April), it explored an overwhelming feeling to travel and #EXPLOREAnd not just anywhere, but somewhere tropical.  I had my own sense of #ISLANDFEVERI didn’t know where it was coming from. Was I meant to travel, or not? And what was the meaning behind it all? I didn’t know.  All I knew was that I was experiencing a strong sense to travel, which then moved me to write THIS (click to read previous blog post).

 

There were a series of events that occurred after I wrote blog post.  I can’t pin point the exact dates of each event, but it was roughly 2 weeks after I wrote the first blog.

 

It must have been in the beginning of April when the first event took place.  My roommate had an Outside Magazine lying around the house, normally this magazine wouldn’t catch my eye, however, the cover was titled ‘20 Best Trips’This intrigued me.

 

I browsed through the magazine, seeing if anything resonated with me.  Nothing did.  I let it be. 

A couple of days later, I was in a friend’s car and this SAME magazine was sitting on his dashboard. “Weird,” I thought.  I took another browse through the magazine, but again, nothing resonated.  I let it be.

It must have been a week later, when I was on my way to visit my sister in San Diego, and as I was walking off the airplane, I glanced over my shoulder to see a man reading the SAME magazine.

 

At this point, I was like, okay there is something happening here.  I didn’t know what it was, but I went to buy this magazine for the sole purpose of feeling like I should have it in my possession. 

I got off the plane, went to the nearest newsstand, and purchased the magazine.  Again, I browsed through it, seeing if this time around something popped out at me.  Still nothing.

 Then, as I was sitting at the gate, waiting to depart, a question subtly arose:  “I wonder where the cover of this magazine was shot?” I thought to myself.

 

Here is the cover:

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It was somewhere tropical and looked like my kind of place! 

It was too late to call Outside Magazine, as their offices had closed for the day.  So, I let it be.

On April 23rd, my Birthday, I went to a local coffee shop to do some writing, and as I reached for my computer, I noticed that I had had the Outside magazine in my backpack.  I took it out, pondered the cover for a second, and then decided to call Outside Magazine to see where they shot the cover of their April 2014 issue. 

 

Drum roll please….. Palawan.  

 

As I began researching Palawan, I soon realized that it was an island in the Phillippines, which excited me, as I could picture myself possibly traveling to this beautiful and remote #ISLAND.  I mean why else had I been led to this magazine!? 

 

I let this idea swarm through my mind for about a month.   

I was pretty excited about the prospect of traveling to Palawan, however, I decided to be open to any other ideas that may come my way.  I didn’t want to close the door on Palawan, but I also didn’t want to be closed off to any other possibilities.

 

One morning after I meditated, I set an #INTENTION for the day:  To be open to receive a sign from the Universe.  Palawan wasn’t even on my mind when I made this intention.  I just wanted to be available to any sign that the Universe may be trying to show me. 

Soon after that, I headed to the coffee shop.  As I was talking to the barista, a man behind me began talking with me.  Long story short, I ended up telling him that I wanted to travel and that I was thinking of going to an Island in the Philippines, but that I was waiting for a sign.  He then told me that he had a friend who ran an orphanage in the Philippines.  I asked where and he said ….. PALAWAN!  

 

LIKE WHATTTTTT! 

 

 Mind you, I live in a town the size of only 2,000 people, so the chances of this happening, are very slim!

 

After conversing with this man for a bit, I remember thinking: if this isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is.  I could wonder, going back and forth in my head, if this is yet a #TRUE sign and if I should perhaps wait for another one to come, just to make triple sure.  Or I could notice how I feel in my body when I ask myself a question that pertains to Palawan. How does it feel when I think about traveling to Palawan?  I get a warm and excited feeling in my heart space.  Almost a knowing feeling;  A feeling that tells me that Palawan is where I am supposed to go.  It feels scary for sure, but it doesn’t make me want to crawl out of my skin.

 

So with that being said, I will trust in that feeling and a little in the unknown, as scary as that may be, and I will follow that straight to Palawan, Philippines.

I am in such awe that life magically steers us into directions we once never thought imaginable.

 

 

We truly do live in a MAGICAL WORLD!!!!!

 

 I am set to go to Palawan at the end of October.  If you have any suggestions, PLEASE feel free to email me and give me your two cents.  😉

 

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With Love and CURIOUSITY,

Sarah

Meet Eva … A Heartfelt #Horse Tail

Meet Eva

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Something happened yesterday, something wonderful, scary, and interesting.  I went over to my friend Lea’s house to go horse back riding.  I remember trying to calm my nerves as I was driving up her drive way.  I wanted to have a great horse experience today, an experience which included actually getting on the horse.  I have worked with Lea and her horses for the past six months, and although I have ridden horses many times before meeting Lea, these past six months have been completely different.  Long story short, I had to let go of what I thought I knew about horses in order to understand them and myself on a completely new level.  Each week I went to Lea’s and spent time with the horses, the experience almost always corresponded with how I was feeling on a personal level.  It was like the horse mirrored whatever I was feeling at that particular time in my life, which is why yesterdays experience was so profound.

Over the course of the past couple of months, I have learned a vast amount about myself and horses have played a significant part in that.  I didn’t realize how much of my time I was wasting on the thoughts and opinions of others.  I actually wasn’t aware of it at all.  I was trapped by ‘dogma’, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  I was allowing the noise of other’s opinions to drown out my own inner voice.  I still struggle with this.  However, by spending time with horses I have slowly developed a higher sense of self-awareness.

Horses have this unique ability to mirror whatever energy you may be omitting around them. If you are scared they will soon mirror your fear and also become scared.  They will reveal to you your true colors, whether you like what you see or not.

For many weeks my experiences with the horses seemed to always disappoint me.  Why couldn’t I make a connection with one of them?  Why didn’t they want to befriend me?  Looking back it makes me laugh a little, because now I am able to connect the dots.  The energy that I was omitting wasn’t pure or honest with how I felt in that moment.  I was yet again, caught up in the rapid chatter of my mind;  concerned more about how I should act around the horses and how they were perceiving me, than I was with my own feelings.  Subsequently, I couldn’t connect with the horse.  None the less, each visit taught me something valuable and led me to where I am today.

By now you are probably wondering why yesterday was such a memorable and meaningful horse experience for me.  Well, as I said earlier, upon arriving to Lea’s, I was pretty nervous.  Although I repeatedly tried to remind myself to be present, by bringing myself back to my body, listening to it and my surroundings, moment by moment, I was still not succeeding.  Then something interesting happened.  I began shaking.  This shake used to be very familiar to me.  It was a nervous shake that I would get around a guy I dated years ago.  So when this happened, I was a little shocked and surprised.  Why on earth was I having the same shakes around Eva as I did with a past-lover?  One word: EXPECTATIONS.  Proceeding Lea’s, I had formed an expectation in my mind of how I wanted to experience that day.  I was so fixated on that expectation, that when my nerves got the best of me and my ‘expectation of the day’ wasn’t matching the idea in my head, I began nervously shaking.  By the time this happened, I was ready to give in my reins and call it day.  I was putting SO MUCH pressure on myself to fulfill this fabricated illusion that I had formed in my mind, that I forgot to just be and have fun.

I forget what happened next, but I vividly remember Lea reminding me to stop being so hard on myself and get OUT of my head!  It was at that juncture that I decided to get on Eva and hope for the best.

I think the decision to get on her, despite what my mind was telling me to do (don’t get on, just give up), allowed me to let go and surrender to whatever may be.  And soon after that, something shifted inside of me and in Eva. The fear and nervousness I once felt was replaced with confidence and self-trust.  It was magical.  That once fearless ‘Sarah’ came out of the woodworks and it was in that moment that I began to enjoy myself.  I felt Eva beginning to enjoy herself as well.  Facing my fears head on, allowed them to disappear.

The most eye-opening, jaw dropping, and inspiring part of the entire experience was witnessing the same shift I felt, in Eva.  She began to mirror me, but this time in a way I never thought possible.  It brings me such joy just writing about it.  As I began to trust myself, she began to trust me, as I became calm, she did too.  If I wanted to walk, so did she.  She looked to me for confidence and I was able to provide that for her.  One of my favorite teachers and horse whisperers, Koelle Simpson, introduced me to this new concept of staying in our own business.  There were moments on the ride where Eva began to get excited, as she witnessed the other horses in the herd galloping and acting playfully on the opposite side of the fence.  Prior to this experience, I probably would have gotten off Eva and walked her, but instead, I remained calm and composed and stayed in MY BUSINESS.  Eva is easily influenced by her environment, especially when there is a lot of commotion going on around her.  If I were to get tangled up in her excitement, I may have lost control and ended up on the ground.  However, I was confident.  I knew she would look to me for reassurance that she was going to be fine, walking on the path, without the rest of her herd.  It took about a minute or less for her to respond to my energy, but when she did she became calm and collected.

Staying in our own business is a helpful life tool to use whether we are spending time with horses or not.  So many of us can become tangled up in others emotions, reactions, thoughts, etc, that we lose track of ourselves and our own voice.  This entire experience with Eva has helped me realize just that.  If someone acts out towards me with their anger, sadness, frustration, or a mixture of both, I now realize that their emotions have nothing to do with me, and if I stay in my own business, I will not be effected negatively by their so-called ‘stuff’.

 Eva has taught me a tremendous amount about myself over the past eight months.  Spending time with her has developed my entire sense of self-awareness, as I am always reminded to be in the present moment.  That is where she lives, and if I want to create a relationship with her, that is where I have to live as well.  It is so inspiring to know that Eva, a horse, can help me grow as an individual and become a better person and horseman.  I am beyond grateful for this experience and for Eva.  So, I thank you Eva, for being you.  It has been a great ride and I look forward to our future together.

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Feeling Pressured by YOURSELF? Sit and #BREATHE


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Fo reaaaallllll! Goodness #gracious! This is exactly how I #FEEL right now!

As I try to sit and #write from an authentic place within myself, my mind keeps interrupting and steering me off into weird territories! I feel pressured to write, which feels very uncomfortable in my #body. I began to journal about this weird feeling, just to clear the air a bit, but I only became more confused as to why I felt this way. And then I saw this quote, and suddenly, I felt much better.

Sometimes, there are no words to explain the #craziness that goes on in our heads! I think I will sit still, take a couple of deep #breathes, and when I feel ready, begin again. #nopressure

The Love in Me HONORS the Love in YOU

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May You always know your own value.

May You always know your own beauty.
May You always know your own worth.
May You always know your Oneness with the Divine.

May You always feel deserving to receive.

And may You know You are Love.

– Tosha Silver

  ♡

They say, Things Happen in #3’s …

I love the #UNIVERSE!!!!

I had another great The Universe at Hand as I like to call them, experience. It began last week (April 23rd – MY BDAY) when a friend pulled a #tarotcard for me. It was the King of Wands.  She summed it up for me as this:KINF-OF-WANDSI highlighted the #KEY words that really resonated with me.

After I read this, I kept it in the back of my mind.  I knew that taking on more confidence in myself and in my personal work and growth, was something that had recently been showing up in my life.  But I let it #CHILL for a sec.

I then went to visit friend a couple of days later.  She began talking about totem animals.  To me, totem animals are animals that unexpectedly pop up into your life and add meaning to you just when you need it.  An example of this, was last year, when I was having a difficult time understanding a certain situation in my life.  Out of nowhere, I saw a dragonfly swoop down before me. I immediately googled it and what I read about dragonflies gave me the courage and confidence I needed right in that moment.

So as we were talking about animal totems, I became curious, yet not attaching myself to a particular outcome.  I also, set this #ASIDE.

The next morning I went to a coffee shop and ordered a lavender honey latte– #YES, it was amazing!  After the gentlemen finished making my latte, he handed it to me, showing me that he had tried to make a #PEACOCK out of the foam.  “Hmm, I pondered. A peacock huh?“.  Here is the lovely art work of the peacock:

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I thanked the barista and headed on my way.  Of course, once I got to my car, I googled ‘peacock’.  This is what I found: (I also highlighted what resonated with me)

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So there I was, now with two signs pointing me to the same direction.  I kind of let it ponder in the back of my head, not sure what to do with it.

Then two days ago, I saw a freaking #PEACOCK walking across the side of the street.  I mean who sees a peacock just roaming the #STREETS!?

At this point, I was like okay, what is going on here??  I understood the message, but what was I supposed to do with it?

It is very ironic, because as all of this was happening, I could feel myself, and have continued to feel myself, grow more confident on a personal and also on a professional level.  It felt as if I was shedding an old layer and re-discovering a new sense of confidence beneath it all.  I felt more #FREE to be me.

After seeing this #peacock walking across the street, although in a state of #AWE, I was still unsure as what to make of it all.

I attended yoga later that evening, and before the class began, the instructor, whom was so awesome by the way, asked us if we wanted to set an intention for the practice, and if so, to do it now.  I thought about it, wondering if I had an intention to set.

question came to mind.  I asked the universe what was I supposed to do with all of this new and juicy information!?  I asked this question, and then let it go.

Throughout my practice, I had completely forgotten that I had asked the question.  Until, an answer came to me.

It was more of a feeling, so it is hard for me to put into words, but it went something like this: Be patient Sarah.  Let it be.  When the time comes you will know what to do.  TRUST the process.

I felt completely at peace with this feeling that had just passed through me. And that is what I decided to do: #LetItBe.

I just think it is ABSOLUTELY amazing when things like this happen.  It reminds me that we are not alone on this path.  That there is something guiding us and showing us the way.  We must trust in that; trust that we will always be taken care of, no matter how brutally confused we may be.

Life is breathing for us right now.  It is here to show us our truest colors.  It is only when we quiet our minds, can we hear the rhythm of  life.  It is always there, waiting for us to slow down and #SHOWUP. I hope this #INSPIRES you to listen to your own wisdom and watch for signs that the #UNIVERSE may be trying to show you.

urge you to take the time to become one with life itself.  It is there where we feel most at #HOME.

Questions/Comments?  EMAIL ME @ thelove4happiness@gmail.com!  We are on this journey together.

Be well and stay #curious.

Sarah🙂