LOVE on your FEARS

Remember we all stumble,every one of us. That's why is a comfort to go hand-in-hand.

HELLO, some of my favorite people!

Let me start off with a TRUTH BOMB:

The more YOU question YOUR fears, the less they will scare YOU.

I was introduced to Byron Katie over a year ago, and her book and work changed my life.  Since then, whenever I have felt down in the dumps, I’ve used The Work to investigate my thinking.

Our suffering- our anxiety, depression, overwhelm, and utter confusion, is caused by what we are believing.

As Byron Katie says, A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It’s not our thoughts, but our attachment to our thoughts, that causes suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it’s true, without inquiring. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to, often for years.

Here are a few of my limiting beliefs:  “You’re not doing enough, you will never amount to anything, you need to be doing more to reach true success.” 

I want to share a story with you.

This morning as I was in my bathroom, getting ready for the day, I felt a limiting belief creep into my mind.  The sign that I am believing a limiting belief is when I begin to feel physical sensations in my body.  It shows up as resistance, which feels like two bulls fighting each other inside my chest. It’s intense and scary.

The thought that started to gain momentum this morning began as a small voice inside my head.  It told me that I needed to know exactly what I was going to do today (PRESSURE).  And then it went on to say: “You need to be MORE productive.  You need to get MORE shit done.  You better not waste this day.”

Two words: HOW RUDE!

I know you are just as familiar with these thoughts as I am, so let me ask you something:  If someone spoke to you that way, would you still be friends with them?

Probably not.

Let me also ask you this:  Would you ever speak to a friend and/or sister like that?  Would you call them up and demand that they DO MORE and be MORE PRODUCTIVE with their time!?

I have a hunch that you wouldn’t.  We would never treat our friends or sisters like that.

Okay (I am about to get in your face) so WHY on earth do we think it is okay to treat ourselves like that!? Why do we BELIEVE everything we think, especially the beliefs that are so nasty and mean!?

The first answer that comes to me is this:  We have NEVER been taught to question our beliefs. We didn’t receive that type of education growing up.  How are we to know that if a thought causes SUFFERING, IT ISN’T TRUE?

We don’t.

This is why I do what I do, to help YOU understand that YOU are not the voice inside of YOUR head and you don’t have to believe everything it has to say.  There is another way.  A way in which will free you from the misery of your anxiety, depression, confusion, overwhelm, etc.

This leads me back to this mornings story….

Usually, when my inner mean girl comes out to play (THE FEAR), I have a few techniques I use to defuse her power, and most of the time it works, lately however, she’s been kicking my ass a bit.
But something different happened this morning.  I felt a new energy emerge from my body.  It was open and loving.  It felt like two open and loving arms reaching out and welcoming the fear.  There was no fight and no fleeing.

“Wow.  That’s what that feels like,” I thought to myself.

And then this nugget of gold came to me: The more we question our beliefs, the less scared of them we become.

I have practiced many tools to help me DISBELIEVE the limiting beliefs that make me feel small, insecure, lost, depressed, confused, anxious, etc. It isn’t always easy, but it’s paying off, because there is a new energy emerging from within me.
To be able to see my fear and react to it with loving and open arms, is one of the best feelings and gifts in the world. Why? Because there is no fight. What a relief.

The more we fight or flee from our fears, the louder and more savage they become.

“What we resist, persists.”

It is my honor to share this experience with all of you.  The more willing we are to investigate our thinking, the thinking which causes us to feel so unhappy, the happier we become and the more connected and confident we feel.

As Martha Beck told me yesterday:  

Our fears block us from feeling the love and seeing the truth from the Universe, ourselves, and others.

There is nothing that isn’t happening for us.  We live in a loving and kind Universe.
The Universe is on our side- it has our backs.
Believe that to be true, and see how it carries you the rest of the day.

If you are interested in knowing more about The Work, you can visit http://www.thework.com and/or reach out to me.  Get the support you need to feel your best.

I wish you lots of love and joy for the rest of your day.  And remember, you matter.

Love,
Sarah

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Be a Better Friend to Yourself

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GOT IT!?

How do you treat yourself? Mentally?

Are you aware of the mental chatter going on inside of your head? Do you notice how often the voice inside of your head makes you feel crappy about yourself and your life? Well let me SHOOT some TRUTH YOUR WAY: That voice, who makes you feel less than you really are, is NOT who you are, nor do you have to listen to or BELIEVE what is has to say.

Sure, it may feel true. And you could argue with me that those thoughts (which cause you to feel anxious or depressed) may in fact be true. But let me ask you something?
When you BELIEVE thoughts that make you feel crummy, what is the indicator that they are true? How can you REALLY know, 100%, that they’re TRUE?

Think about it…

Go inside and see what comes up for you.

I have a friend who believes that before she starts her business, she needs to have ALL her I’s dotted and T’s crossed. She had this story when I met her (8 months ago) and still lives by it today. And what has this belief given to her? A lot of UNNECESSARY stress and a lack of self-confidence and courage to get her BUSINESS out into the world.

Does she have her T’s crossed and I’s dotted?

YOU BET SHE DOES

And is she a wonderful and smart women who has a special gift to share with the world?  YOU BET SHE IS! Yet, she is still believing that she needs to DO MORE, in order for her to begin, and that my friends, is what’s HOLDING HER BACK.

I want you to hold a thought in your mind that makes you feel crappy. Such as: (I will use my own personal playlist, that my inner mean girl uses, when she likes to come out to play) you’re not doing enough, you will never be successful, you should watch what you eat (you don’t want to get fat!), you need to be doing more to be better, etc. Now find a thought that your inner mean girl uses when she comes out to play.

Got it? (DO THIS PEOPLE)

Now hold that belief in your mind FOR 30 seconds.

How do you feel?

Write down ALL of the feelings and PHYSICAL sensations in your BODY, that came up while believing this thought. Such as: tight, suffocating, clogged, heavy, etc.

(WRITE THEM DOWN, for reals!)

Okay, shake that shit off. Really, shake it off and get back to YOUR happy place.

NOW, hold a belief that you KNOW to be TRUE. For example (my truth): I love horses, I want to be happy, I love my partner, the sky is blue, etc.

NOW, hold that belief in your mind for 30 seconds.

How do you feel after believing that thought?

Better right?

Let me let you in on a TOP SECRET: IF A THOUGHT CAUSES YOU TO SUFFER (anxious, depressed, worried, unhappy) IT IS NOT TRUE.

Notice how you FELT when you held the absolute truth in your mind. Good right? A lot better then when you held the belief that your inner mean girl throws at you, huh?

When you BELIEVE the TRUTH it feels like freedom and when you believe a LIE, it feels like SHIT.

I know this may be a lot for your mind to comprehend, but it doesn’t need to comprehend it right now. Just notice how you feel when you believe the truth, the god to honest truth, like the sky is blue, and when you believe something that causes you to feel crappy about yourself.

It’s like hot and cold, right?

Wouldn’t you want to believe the TRUTH and FEEL FREE, then believe and LIE and feel like crap???

Easier said then done, I know. However, I am LIVING PROOF, that it is POSSIBLE. I have suffered from anxiety and depression, and ALL of it stemmed from the inner dialogue that was going on upstairs.

With a few coaching sessions under your belt, you will understand how you inner mean girl operates, how you can break free from the LIMITING beliefs that hold you back (like my friend), and create a happier life for yourself.

It all starts with you my dear.

And let me REMIND you of something: You are EFFING amazing and you have an incredible gift to share with the world. If I believe that, you can believe it. Don’t you EVER give up on yourself and when you’re in the DUMPS, reach out to a loved one and treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. NO exceptions.

“Be a better friend to yourself.” – ME

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Questions/Comments? EMAIL ME @ hello@sarahcaracciolo.com

I would LOVE to hear from you.

 

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Looking FEAR into the EYES

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“Until you can look forward to all aspects of life without fear, your Work is not done.”  – Byron Katie

I had an epiphany the other day after reading this quote.  It slowly started to dawn on me that I had the willingness (in one area of my life) to look fear in the eye and choose not to be scared. The fear that used to TERRIFY me, no longer held its power over me and scared me the way it used to.

 

HOLY COW!  WHAT a realization!

 

And the fear I am talking about?  It is the FEAR of being FAT.  You know it right?  

I have been scared of being fat since the seventh grade.  I had beliefs like: only skinny girls are pretty and only pretty girls are skinny.  AND:  I HAVE to be skinny in order for people to like me.  AND: I am not likable if I am not skinny.  You see where I am going with this…

The behaviors that came from believing such thoughts were detrimental to my health, mind, soul, and body.  Behaviors such as: controlling my eating habits, eating when I wasn’t hungry, emotional binge-eating, harsh self-criticism, judging myself and others, and wearing baggy clothes because I was too scared to wear my tight clothes, for fear they wouldn’t fit.

 

And what did this all stem from?  Believing thoughts that simply were NOT TRUE.  Who said that only pretty people are skinny and visa versa?  Or that one is only likable if they are skinny!?  Because I have two words for them: what BULLSHIT!!!!  100% BullSHIT.

 

The fact that I can hear the voice in my head (you should watch what you eat, you don’t want to get FAT), feel it’s impact on my body, as uncomfortable body sensations (tightness, tenseness, and heaviness-usually in my heart center), and choose to face the fear, rather then fight it or ignore it, changes its effect on me.  I used to be SO scared to face the fear, for fear that I would become FAT, that I would bow down to it (unknowingly), BELIEVE IT, and then end up feeling like the victim of my own life.  This created a hellish life for me for quite some time.

 

BUT NOW?!  I see it for was it is:  a made up FEAR that doesn’t hold any truth whatsoever.  May I repeat:  A MADE OF UP FEAR THAT DOESN’T HOLD ANY TRUTH WHATSOEVER.  Through life coach training and many of my own personal experiences, I have come to realize the insanity of the fear and have begun to trust myself and my body, more than a belief inside of my head.

 

And now that I have come to realize this, I can apply it to other fear based areas in my life, and not become paralyzed by limiting (fear based) beliefs for days, weeks, or months on end.

 

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH!!!

 

You are NOT the voice inside your head who makes you feel crappy about your life, body, work, relationships, etc.  You are the one who is silenced by the fear, the one who stands back and watches the chaos unfold.  

 

“If you truly knew how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” – Byron Katie

CURIOUS about learning how to move past your fears and face them in the eye, so you can live a more happy and peaceful life?  Subscribe to my email updates so you can get all the INSPIRING, SOUL-EMPOWERING, and MOTIVATING goodies to your INBOX!

 

And if you want more… sign up for the Relationship Repair Kit, where I will help you become your OWN BEST FRIEND and FACE your own fears in the EYE!

 

LOTS OF LOVE!!!!!

Sarah

What @ Blessing

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I can give myself whatever it is that I am seeking from another person.

For example, say I wanted to hear from a special someone, yet the reality of the situation was that I didn’t hear from that person.  As soon as my expectation is met with the reality of the situation (not hearing from that person), I become sad and a tad angry.

So I ask myself a question:  What would I have in this moment, that I don’t have right now, if I was to hear from this person?

ANSWER:  Love, appreciation, being cared for, etc.

Hmm… well if my feelings are the only thing that would change, can’t I give those experiences to myself?  Can’t I imagine what it would feel like to receive that from another person and then give it to myself?

YES, why yes I CAN!

I can give myself LOVE, APPRECIATION, and acts of kindness, the same way any other person could.

Wow, what a great and humbling SURPRISE.

The love and appreciation that I give to myself, feels like a thousand shooting stars.

What a feeling!

⋆We Live and We ⋆✌⋆LEARN⋆✌⋆

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I am not really sure where to start.  But let’s just start here:  As I was talking to a co-worker the other day, explaining to her my current romantic situation, she told me what I already knew and what everyone else had been telling me as well:  Move on and stop hanging out with your Ex.

This advice has been like a broken record for the past couple of weeks, so when she told me this, I replied with:  “YES I know, believe me I am so aware of the situation it’s almost embarrassing, but you know what?  We all LIVE and we all LEARN and that is exactly what I am doing right now.”

Isn’t that what life is all about anyways!?  Living and learning?

I think there is a fine line, between repeating the same old habits over and over again, and living through them a couple of times before realizing that that specific life choice is not adding anything to your table, but only taking away what is good and leaving behind what is old and moldy.

But what is that fine line?  Where is it drawn?

I would like to believe that the choices I have made regarding Evans and my post break-up, have led me to greater lands and that this too will do the same.

I think that we all know, deep down, the breaking point where a decision needs to be made;  Whether we will keep eating the same old and moldy food, which by the way is not nutritious whatsoever, or throw out the old, make a trip to the grocery store, and serve ourselves a delicious and FRESH meal.

The part of the equation where we tend to get lost, is when we are faced at that crossroad and we decide (over and over again) that eating old and moldy food for days on end, is in fact good for us.  We lose track of what ‘good’ tastes like, and settle for really gross tasting food.

This could be anything from an unhealthy relationship, an uninspiring and draining job, exhausting friendships, etc.  At what point do we settle for a mediocre life and think: this is it.

I don’t think I am at that place yet, gosh at least I hope I’m not. I think there have been days where I have definitely eaten some moldy food, by not taking the time for myself or listening to my heart, in particular moments.  Those moments didn’t feel good.  They hurt my heart.  However, I think that making those choices, to eat moldy food, a couple of times, is a part of life.

Although I am not eating moldy food every day (hanging out with Evan), I know that continuing to hang out with Evan automatically leaves dirty food on the table.  However, by checking in with myself, trying to remain as true to myself as I possibly can, and listening to that voice I call my soul, there still seems to be fresh food on the table.

But that too is settling.

We can all live great lives that make us feel GOOD.  I know it, I believe it, and I will BE IT.

However, sometimes, I also think that we just need to live and learn a little.

trust that I will know when to stop participating in this love game and get back to my roots, myself, or whatever that is which makes my heart tick.

Because let’s be real here, I have dedicated so much of my time to become the person I am today, that I will not just throw it all away for one repetitive decision, which causes more suffering than happiness.

I will let go.  I just don’t know when.

SIDE NOTE: Evan will always be a close friend of mine.  This was yet another stage of our relationship.  This blog post was not meant to harm his feelings, but to share mine.  It is not a representation of who he is, but simply an expression of how I felt at a specific time in our post break-up relationship.  He is a wonderful being and I wish him the utmost best, wherever life decides to take him.

To be continued …

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The Love in Me HONORS the Love in YOU

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May You always know your own value.

May You always know your own beauty.
May You always know your own worth.
May You always know your Oneness with the Divine.

May You always feel deserving to receive.

And may You know You are Love.

– Tosha Silver

  ♡

My Beloved Child

My Beloved Child
My beloved child, break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart;
you stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
The time has come. Your time to live, to celebrate.
And to see the goodness that you are.
You, my child, are Divine. You are pure. You are sublimely free.
You are God in disguise and you’re always perfectly safe.
Do not fight the dark, just turn on the light.
Let go and Breathe in to Goodness that you are.
~Swami Kripalu
 
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